Yes Dear

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Rachel Adler

• Mark- man
• Dave- woman
• Kevin- Parrot

[Scene- A kitchen, Mark is sitting at a table, Dave is looking out a window, and the parrot is inside a cage on a table.]

Dave: Are you sure you called for a taxi?

[Mark nods a bit.]

Dave: Well, I think you'd better call them again. [pause] Oh, here they are darling. Im off. Give me a kiss on the cheek.

Mark: Yes dear. [kisses Dave]

Kevin (V.O.): Yes dear.

[Mark, looking angry, aims a gun at Dave's head.]

Dave: And put that gun away.

[Mark puts the gun down.]

Mark: Yes dear.

Kevin (V.O.): Yes dear.

Dave: And don't forget to put that salve on your rash or it'll get worse.

Mark: [covering his face with great embarrassment and muffling a bit] Yes dear.

Kevin (V.O.): Yes dear.

Dave: [heading towards the door, stoping right in front of it and looking up] And cut down that anvil before someone gets hurt.

Mark: Yes dear.

Kevin (V.O.): (and again) Yes dear.

[Dave exits through the door with his suitcase.]

[Mark gets the gun and aims it at the bird with an angry face.]

[Dave reenters.]

Dave: And don't kill my bird while I'm gone.

Mark: Yes dear. [puts down the gun]

Kevin (V.O.): Yes dear.

[Dave exits.]

[Mark sits down at the table.]

Kevin (V.O.): Don't five me that look! Now put on that dress I like!

[Mark makes a really angry face, like he just wants to strangle that damn bird.]