Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
[In subway. Bruce stands. Dave enters, looks at watch, and looks at Bruce. Bruce, uncomfortable, looks away.]
- Dave--Man with briefcase
- Bruce--Woman with pocketbook and watch
- Man with knife in his back
Dave: Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. I was just trying to see if you could give me the correct time.
[Bruce takes a step away.]
Dave: Excuse me. I was wondering if you could tell me what time it is.
Dave: Look, you see my watch has stopped and it's really important that I get to this meeting on time, so if you could just. . .
Bruce: . . .I'm sorry, I'm seeing someone.
Dave: Oh, no no no no no. You misunderstand. I'm not--I'm not hitting on you, honestly. Look. You can. . .
Bruce: . . .Please, do yourself a favor. Quit before you get hurt.
Dave: What are you talking about?
Bruce: Before you know it, it will be Bam.
Dave: Bam, what?
Bruce: Bam--I love you. Bam--I need you. Bam--I'll leave [crosses in front of Dave] my wife and kids for you. Bam--just where the hell were you?
Dave: Wh--Well, I don't even have a wife, okay?
Bruce: How convenient for _you_.
Dave: No. It's not neccessarily so convenient. I mean, a wife might be very useful is some situations like, like moving a couch. But, since I don't have a wife, I can't move my couch.
Bruce: Well, how sad. You're having couch troubles.
Dave: No. I'm not having couch troubles. I don't even have a couch. I don't have a couch and I don't have a wife. Okay?
Bruce: Well, where do you sit and who do you sit with?
Dave: I stand, alone.
Bruce: How brave!
Dave: Look, if you could just. . .
Bruce: . . .Shh. [motions silence with his lips and then Dave's] No. No words.
[Bruce crosses back to the other side of Dave.]
[Dave looks away.]
Dave: I hate it when you're silent.
Bruce: I was silent when you met me. You seemed to like it then.
Dave: Well, that was then. This is now.
Bruce: Come on. It was only five minutes ago.
Dave: Really? What time would it have been then?
Bruce: Oh. . .
[Bruce looks at his watch; Dave looks at his.]
Bruce: That would have put it at about t--Oh! You're all the same!! I want you to take your thing [points at suitcase] and go!
Dave: Fine. [Approaches Bruce] There are plenty of women who would be happy to give me the time, anytime.
[Dave starts to leave.]
Dave: [looking back, holding shoulder] Ow!
[Dave starts to leave, again. Bruce looks at watch. They run towards eachother and embrace.]
Bruce: It's--It's 2:15.
[Dave, with his hands around Bruce, sets his watch.]
Bruce: My God. It's 2:15.
Bruce: Well, you got what you wanted. I guess you'll be going now.
Dave: N--No. Couldn't we have lunch or go to a movie or something? I. . .
Bruce: . . .No. Our time has passed. Move on.
Dave: Of course. You're right. But, I'm gonna think of you everyday at 2:15.
[Second man, who appears to be Vito Viscomi, enters with a knife in his back. Collapses.]
Man: Help me.
Bruce: Don't flirt.