He's Gonna Give Away $1000

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Andrew Greenberg
[Mark and Scott dressed as cowboys walk through door of bar or restaurant.]

Mark: Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Scott: Y-y-yep!

[Scott reaches inside jacket and takes out a wad of cash.]

Mark: Ladies and gentlemen! [singing] He's gonna give away a thousand dollars
Someone's gonna get a thousand dollars
Who ja think's gonna get a thousand dollars
[shuffling toward people and pointing at them] could be you or it could be you 'cause...
Someone's gonna get a thousand dollars
Who ja think's gonna get a thousand dollars
He's gonna give away a thousand dollars

Scott: Y-y-yep!

Mark: Oh! You're gonna get a thousand dollars
He just gave you a thousand dollars
Count it up!

Bruce: Thanks!

Mark: Yep. Yep. Yep.

[Scott puts hand in jacket as before but this time his hand comes out as a fist.]

Mark: uh oh. Someone's gonna get a punch in the head
Who do you think is gonna get a punch in the head

[people getting up and leaving.]


Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video