Thanks, Hitler

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Laura Cihocki
Cast- [Title on screen reads: "Career Ending Moments in Show Business 1962." Dave is at the center-stage podium, holding a statuette.]

Dave: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you, I--I owe this honor to so many people. I--I'd like to thank...I'd like to thank my friend and manager, Ralph Himmelfarb...[cut to Kevin in the wings, clasping his hands graciously]...Thank you, Ralph. Um..um...the producers, Sid and Marty Sidmartinson for having faith in me, uh, thank you...uh, uh, I'd like to thank my director, Derek [kisses hand], I love you! Uh, and, and, and, and, and I'd like to thank Harold Reinhouse for his wonderful script, I'd like to thank him. I'd like to thank Hitler, and, and most of all, I'd like to thank my parents. Mom, Dad, this is for you!

[Dave sniffles and holds back happy tears, then goes blank when he realizes that the crowd is silent.]

Dave: Mom, D-Dad...

[Kevin comes and escorts Dave offstage as music swells.]

Dave: What's wrong with everybody?

Kevin: You thanked Hitler.

Dave: I never!

Kevin: You thanked Hitler!

Dave: Why would I thank Hitler?

Kevin: Hmm, why would you thank Hitler...[rubs his beard]...I don't know!

Dave: I can't believe I thanked Hitler!

[Kevin yanks Dave off-camera.]


Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video