Bruce: Poo Guy

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by:
Bruce: Hi. Um. One thing I really don't like is when people come up to me and they go, "Hey you! You're the 'Poo Guy.' My kids love you." The Poo Guy. I mean, just because I did a commercial for poo doesn't make me the Poo Guy. I mean, I happened to play a character that happened to buy poo. I mean, that's not such an odd thing for an actor to do, is it? I mean, just because I held a bowl of poo neck high--well you've seen the billboards.

[Picture shown. Cut back to Bruce.]

Just because I held a bowl of poo up neck high. . .I mean, that's just as valid as a lot of other parts where you don't sell poo. I mean, I had a small part in "Anne of Green Gables," which I'm rather proud of. But, people don't come up to me and go, "Hey! You're 'The Guy that had a small part in Anne of Green Gables.' Come sign my baby's head." or some such nonesense. I believe in the product. I really do. I believe that poo products are a wave of the future. And I'm not just saying that because it's their slogan. I believe in it. I wouldn't do and ad for. . .hate. If they call up and say, "Do you want to do an ad for evil?" I wouldn't even ask what that paid. And, it was fun. I was creatively involved. You know the way I hold my head at that angle? That was my idea! And they used it. See, I'm an artist. And sometimes when you're an artist you've got to do things like that. I just, I must work and I can work. . .and if I have to sell a little poo to do it, then. . .I wish people would understand a little bit before they scream, "Hey Poo Guy!!"

[Bruce acts the last line out and points to his ass. Then he strikes the pose on the billboard. Cut to picture.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video