The Moon

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: and
Cast: [Mark, Bruce, and Dave are sitting on a wall staring at the moon. Mark is holding a wine bottle]

Mark: Hey, see that moon? No that one there.

Dave and Bruce: Ahh.

Mark: I think that moon is a bit of a spy. Yes I do. There was a moon like that on the summer of my sixteenth year. Some say I was sixteen but [sigh] I don't know. And there was a girl, too; her name was Marie. At night together we would walk down by the sea and oh my god if you could see the body on this woman. The way at night her long legs would stick into the moist night sand like gods own barge poles, you know. And I longed to tell her the feeling I had in my heart for her but the words would not come, they would not come through my spotty adolescent face, they would not come through my angry hair or my sweaty feet or any other part on this body that I know call a man. So the words je t'aime were never passed between us but the moon, yes, that moon spied on us.

[He takes a drink of wine then passes the bottle to Bruce]

Bruce: The moon is bright over Lebanon tonight! The Lebanese moon looks down shim! sham! shikam!!! Cattle Explodes! Cow shrapnel drips off a tree cascades into a mothers tear. Poor little boy who goes into battle and comes back dead or worse comes back a man. Why don't you warn them moon? Why don't you say duck or scram? But the moon will not. The moon just sits there grinning like a corpse at a Dean Martin roast. What are you laughing at moon? Why don't you share it with the whole class moon? The moon laughs knowingly, the moon laughs, the moon, the.

[He takes a drink of wine and passes the bottle to Dave]

[Dave looks nervous]

Dave: Gee , I wonder who owns that moon?

[Dave sighs disappointedly]

Mark and Bruce: Yes...yes...yes...yes.

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video