Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: KdsInThHal@aol.com
[scene: fancy doctor's office]
- Dave- patient
- Scott- doctor
Scott: Well Don, I have your test results here and ah. I'm afraid the news is bad. You have cancer.
Dave: [blank expression] That's it? [smiles] Okay, see ya. [walks to door]
Scott: Don? Maybe you didn't hear me... you ah, have, cancer. Terminable, inoperable cancer.
Scott: *And* you're going to die. You know, die? The big sleep.
Dave: So that's everything? Great [points to watch] 'cause I gotta meet someone. [heads towards door]
Scott: Don?! Maybe you didn't hear me, ah, you know, when I tell people news of this input, they usually react badly, you know, they cry to heaven [lifts arms up mimicking], why me, that sort of thing, y'know.
Dave: I'm sorry doc, I didn't realize I was supposed to put on a *show* for you,
Scott: Well not a show, but it's polite..
Dave: ...but uh, okay, [sarcastic, dancing] *Oooh* I'm *dying*! Oh, why me...
Scott: Shut up...
Dave: ...Oh gosh, I'm so young..
Scott: Just shut up...
Dave: ...So many things...
Scott: Shut up! I'm sorry, I just thought maybe you needed a, shoulder to cry on, a, a friend.
Dave: Heh, heh, no offense doc, I mean, you're a nice guy, but you're like, the *last* guy I'd turn to. Heh..
Scott: [irate] Get the HELL out of my office.
Dave: [laughing] Sure, now that I'm late, thanks. [leaves, shaking head]
Scott: ...I'm losing my touch. [buzzes intercom] Sal? Send in someone who looks vulnerable. [pretends a patient is in the chair] Hello; you're going to DIE DIE DIE!