Making Up The News

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Marie (Ree) Panepinto
Cast: [Newscast]

Mark: Tonight the management and staff of this station would like to take this opportunity to respond to the allegations that we here at Channel 7 have been making up the news. In the field of journalism there is no--

[A crash is heard offscreen and Mark looks to his left and starts to laugh]

Mark: [trying to calm down] In the field of journalism there is no more serious allegation that a journalist has been tampering with the veracity of facts in an ongoing--

[a paper airplane is thrown at Mark]

Mark: [cracking up] Stop it you guys!

[Five more paper airplanes are thrown. Mark grabs one and opens it up]

Mark: This just in! [starts hysterically laughing]

[gets up and walks out]

Mark (O.S.): [still laughing] We're in trouble!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video