Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Kim H.
- Scott - Businessman
- Mark - John
- Kevin - Danny
- Scott - Aging Fitness Woman
- Dave - Barry
- Bruce - Janitor
[Kevin, Scott and Mark are all seated around a conference table.]
Scott: It's a damn fine proposal. But, I have a proposal that I think you might find a better proposal. Not that what you proposed was a bad proposal.
Mark: So you're saying you have a counter proposal?
Mark: What do you think Danny?
Kevin: Well John...[Kevin tilts backwards in his chair and smacks his head on the wall.]
Mark: Hey, Danny's knocked out!
Scott: Well I vaguely remember from health class that we shouldn't move him.
Scott: So I move that we move the meeting to another office.
Mark: Good proposal.
[Caption: 2 Days Later. Kevin wakes up, and shakes his head. He hears the office door open and quickly goes back to leaning against the wall. Dave and a young woman come into the office. Kevin watches out of the corner of his eye.]
Woman: Let's do it here Barry!
Dave: Right here?
Woman: This is the perfect place, no one will know! That guy's been out cold for days! He won't tell anyone. [Kevin shakes his head.] Come on, prove you love me?
Dave: I don't know.
Woman: Come on...Should I take everything off? It's up to you. [Begins unbuttoning her shirt.]
[Kevin nods his head enthusiastically.]
Kevin (V.O): Gee I don't know, that's a tough one...Take it off, take it off, take it off! Come on kid, make the right choice, make the naked choice!
Dave: No. Not here. It's not right. It's wrong. It's just wrong!
[Dave runs out of the office.]
Woman: Barry? Barry! [chases after him.]
Kevin:[slams his hands on the table and gets up.] Kids today! Bunch of hairless cowards! When I was their age nudity was number one, and then it was warmth, shelter and food. [Hears a whistle blow and quickly resumes his former position in the chair.]
[Scott enters with a bunch of women in athletics jackets.]
Scott: Okay girls, we'll change for the big game in here because the lights are out in the stadium dressing room. Let's move it! [Kevin makes celebrating gestures and faces.] But don't worry, this guys been out cold for two days so he won't trouble you. [Kevin holds up two fingers.] I'll just stand outside for a couple minutes so let's do it quickly! [Blows whistle.] You too Rossi, out of my way, out of my way!
Kevin (V.O): Come on girls, start changing. You got a big game ahead of you. Start changing, do it, do it, do it! I love basketball...I love nudity. Do it!
Scott: [Enters] Okay girls, start not changing, the lights are back on so you can change back there. [Kevin looks disappointed.] Come on, let's move it. Let's see that (?) Sparrow spirit!
Scott: Come on, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it! Let's show Thunder Bay who's boss! [All exit.]
Kevin: [sits up.] Great! So close yet so far, I couldn't be happier. I hate basketball. All-Star Cricket's more exciting. [Leans back against the wall again and closes his eyes.]
[Bruce enters as the janitor. He begins mopping. He notices Kevin supposedly passed out and drops the mop handle. As classical music begins to play, Bruce starts dancing.]
Kevin (V.O): No, no, no! Well this is great, my day is now perfect, no, no not the pants, not the pants! Here come the pants, no...!
[Cut to Bruce lowering his pants and continuing to dance.]