Cops: Standoff

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: I
[Caption: 10:45 p.m. 810 Ossington St.]

Mark (into megaphone): Attention owner, occupant, or visitor at 810 Ossington. Come out the front door with your hands in front of you. You are surrounded. [4 shots are fired.] So, what do you think a house like that is worth anyway? About 280,000?

Bruce: Geez uh, I'd have to see inside.

Mark: You're right.

Man on walkie-talkie: Unit 501, we have a data update.

Bruce: Go ahead 109.

Man on walkie-talkie: You're hunch was right. There are two bathrooms.

Bruce: Thanks, Doug. Yeah, I'd have to say 300K, although a shooter like this just makes the property value go right down.

Mark: You're right. Tell you what, I'm going to run around back and see how big the yard is. Cover me.

[Bruce fires 3 shots. ]

Bruce: Are you dead?

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video