Transcribed from: Comedy Central [with closed captioning on]Cast:
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
Scott: [pounding gavel] Okay okay let's get this one going.
- Scott- Judge
- Kevin- Bruce's lawyer
- Bruce- himself
- Jury of women
[Kevin talking to Bruce at desk.]
Kevin: Now remember when I put you on that stand, look in my eyes, always look in my--
Bruce: --The jury.
Kevin: The jury? What's wrong?
Bruce: It's made up entirely of my ex-girlfriends.
Kevin: Uh oh!
Bruce: W-when they were selected, didn't you think to ask, "Were you ever fucked over by the accused?"
Kevin: No...I never thought...how could I know?
Bruce: Well, you should have.
Scott: [pounding gavel] Okay, enough chattering. Let's go. The plaintiff, [close up on a woman smoking] Miss Leslie Peters, accuses the defendant, Mr. Bruce McCulloch, of being an asshole--on more than one occasion. How do you plead?
Kevin: Guilty, your honor.
Bruce: --but with various good excuses.
["Ooh!"s from the jury.]
Bruce: [walks over to them to explain himself] No, it's true!