Terrier Song

Obtained from: Kids in the Hall FAQ
Transcribed by: Tom Walsh and lkane@ix.netcom.com and redtop@u.washington.edu
Kevin: [in drag, holding a dog] I just got him and I love him and I'm going to name him and it's going to be a perfect name 'cause he's the perfect dog and I love him....isn't he great?

Bruce: No. I don't like him.

Kevin: What?

Bruce: Sorry.

Kevin: What's wrong with him?

Bruce: He's just not my type of dog...he's just not...a terrier.

[sung by Bruce]
Terriers are my very favourite breed
They're cute and cuddly and easy dogs to feed
They'll bring you up whenever you are down
Terriers average 20 pounds
When I walk around in this terrier town
One thing that makes me down
Is when people put bandanas on their dogs

Terriers are my very favourite breed
Cute and cuddly, easy dogs to feed
Terriers were there in the 11th century
Napoleon had one to prevent misery
Terriers are good with the aged
Studies show that they prolong old peoples' live

No one wants to die
Like this guy died
Die die, die die
Die die, die die
Worms eating your eyes
Bass solo

[Notices women behind him in black bikini's and veils]

Ah, excuse me ladies, you're scantily clad and have nothing to do with the narrative. Therefore, it's sexist. Sorry.

[They go away..]

Wow, that hurt.

You know those mornings that you just can't get out of bed, and you call in sick, if you had a job.

You know those mornings when you just wanna watch TV, eat corn chips and masturbate.

Sure you do.

Well, when those days happen.. what you should do is start thinking about my friends. My little furry, waterproof pals. You know I'm talking about.....

Les terriers sont mes types favourites
Jolies, charmantes
Pas de probleme a maintenir
Il donnent du joie
Quand tu es "blue"
Les terries sont a peu pres
Vingt livres

Give terriers a chance
Do the terrier dance
No, let's not
But if you want your love to show
If you want your love to grow
Then go terri-, go terri-, go terri- errr

Bruce: See....your dog just isn't good enough.

Kevin: I guess you're right. Go on, Snaxi (sp??), to a brand new life!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video