Street Singers: Street Singing

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: M. Howie and Stefanie Gray and Elizabeth Strong

[A street, with people walking by. Bruce and Mark are street singers who have just finished a song. All singing is to the tune of "Yankee Doodle" while Bruce does an odd little dance and Mark claps, and when they both yell "Hey!" they throw their hands back.]

Both: [singing] ...Learning not to yell!

Mark: Thank you.

Bruce: Thank you.

Mark: Thank you very much.

[Mark looks down at the open guitar case in front of them. There's no money in it. Mark pulls out a songlist from inside his jacket.]

Mark: "Seven Presents"?

Bruce: Yeah.

Mark: Okay. [claps out the beat] 1, 2, 3, 4-

Bruce: [singing] Hodey-ohten-doten-day, hodey-ohten-day-o, hodey-ohten-doten-day

Both: Seven birthday presents.

Bruce: Hobey-ohten-boten-bay, hobey-ohten-bay

Both: Hey!

Bruce: Hobey-ohten-botey-bay

Both: Seven birthday presents.

Bruce: Thank you.

Mark: Thank you.

Bruce: Thank you very much, folks.

Mark: Yeah.

[Again, they look down to see no money in the guitar case.]

Mark: "Form," "Form." "Form"?

[Bruce nods.]

Mark: Yeah, yeah. [claps out the beat] 1, 2, 3, 4-

Bruce: [singing] Hodey-ohten-doten-day, hodey-ohten-day-o, hodey-ohten-doten-day

Both: Filling out the form.

Bruce: Hobey-ohten-boten-bay, hobey-ohten-bay

Both: Hey!

Bruce: Hobey-ohten-botey-bay

Both: Filling out the form.

Mark: Thank you, thank you, thanks, thanks a lot.

[They look down - still, no money in the guitar case.]

Mark: Man, God- c'mon, let's get 'em, let's get 'em, let's get 'em. [pulls out the songlist] Oh! "Happy Teeth."

Bruce: No.

Mark: No?

Bruce: It's not ready yet.

Mark: No? "Coupon," yeah?

Bruce: Let's do "Coupon."

Mark: Okay, [clapping] 1, 2, 3, 4-

Bruce: [singing] Hodey-ohten-doten-day, hodey-ohten-day-o, hodey-ohten-doten-day

Both: Cutting out our coupons.

Bruce: Hobey-ohten-boten-bay, hobey-oh-

[Someone throws some change into the guitar case.]

[Bruce stops singing as Mark stops clapping]

Mark: Hey, thanks a lot, man.

Bruce: Hey!

Mark: Oh, sorry man.

Bruce: Stay focused.

Mark: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! [He begins clapping again.]

Bruce: [singing] Ho bee oten boten bay, ho bee oten bay

Both: HEY!

Bruce: Ho bee oten boten bay. . .

Both: Cutting out a coupon!