Whole Lotta Milka

Transcribed from: Comedy Network
Transcribed by: an anonymous donor
Cast: [Scene takes place in a kitchen with windows overlooking the backyard.]

Kevin: [with eyes half open, he picks up a bowl on a plate from the counter] Morning son. [Walks towards the kitchen table. Then the view shifts to a clock radio on another counter with the time reading 3:45 (there's light outside so it is probably 3:45 PM). Kevin arrives at the table, sits down. The boy is eating a sandwich.]

What's in the paper? [picks up newspaper] What's in the paper? Earth-quaker... [boy looks attentively at Kevin] Earth-quaker... Whole lotta shaking goin' on down there. Earth-quaker... [flips over newspaper, flips one page halfway] What's number one in the chartssss? Bel Biv DeVoe. Bell Biv DeVoe. [he lets go of page] Number one in the chartssss: Bell Biv DeVoe... [puts paper on table but in such a way that it falls to the floor]

Could I have some Cornflakessss? Could I have some Cornflakessss? [gets up, picks up milk from fridge with one hand while with the other he's holding the Cornflakes and says] Can't have Cornflakessss... without a whole lotta milka. [Boy is watching Kevin attentively. Kevin is at the table again, sits down, pours Cornflakes in bowl, puts Cornflakes' box on table so that, like the newspaper, it falls down. Then he starts to pour milk in bowl.]

Boy: Daddy... are you... okay?

Kevin: [still pouring the milk] Doin' okay, gotta whole lotta milka. [the milk overflows the bowl] Your mother's cheated on me. Your mother's cheated on *me*. [the milk overflows the plate and spills onto the table] Bel Biv DeVoe. Gonna fix the car. [picks up spoon in left hand] Can't fix the car [picks up milk container in right hand] without a whole lotta milka.

[Gets up and looking straight ahead walks into the backyard. Boy's and camera's eyes follow him from the inside. Kevin walks towards some flowers and pours the rest of the milk on them. Then he turns around and walks away as the boy too turns around and continues his sandwich-munching.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video