Transcribed from: Comedy Central[Bruce is backstage, watching the monitor with a skit in progress on it.]
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com[On screen-- Dave: You don't understand me! I'm leaving home. He runs into a room, with a bottle in hand. Scott (?) as voice-over: Norman! The scene continues, as this one begins.]
Man: [a man who looks nothing like Bruce enters] Hey!
Bruce: Hey.
Man: Hey. [laughing]
Bruce: Hey.
Man: Hey Bruce!
Bruce: Nice to meet you.
Man: You know, people say I look like you.
Bruce: Really.
Man: They-they tell me that all the time!
Bruce: Oh, that's uh, that's great, great.
Man: You know, I feel like I'm looking into a mirror. [Takes glasses off and puts his face up to the invisible mirror.]
Bruce: Hmph. I-I-I don't see it.
Man: You don't?
Bruce: Sorry.
Man: Anyway, listen Bruce--one question. Do you have a horny, little devil tattooed on your arms about, ooh, yay-big?
Bruce: Uh, no. I-I don't have a horny little devil tattoo.
Man: That's one way you can tell us apart, right?
[Both laugh]
Bruce: Yeah, anyway. It was--it was great meeting you and, uh, take care--
Man: Hey! You wouldn't want to go play a trick on my wife, would you? She would be so. . .[laughing, can't continue]
Bruce: No. I, uh. See, uh. I actually don't think we look alike.
Man: Really? H-how so?
Bruce: Well, for one thing, I'm not a big, fat. . .bald guy.
Man: Well, not yet. [The sound of the distant scenes is heard as it continues. This scene cuts to a bumper video of Bruce sitting alone on a park bench.]
To Part 2 of Bruce's Double.