Girls! Girls! Girls!

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Tor Y. Harbin
Cast: [Kevin, obviously drunk, stumbles out of a restaurant and staggers down the street. He runs into a woman, who walks past him. He passes something, then returns to it and, from his viewpoint, we see that it is a sign saying: "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" with and arrow pointing left. Kevin points that way with his hand and smiles a goofy grin before going on his way. After running into a man, Kevin notices another sign: "LUSCIOUS HOT BABES"; under it, it reads "YOU'RE ALMOST THERE", with another arrow, this time pointing down an alleyway. Kevin runs down and finds a big arrow pointing up to a small room, where there is party music and strobe lighting. Next to the arrow is a ladder leading into the room. Kevin climbs the ladder, makes his way into the room and looks around.]

Kevin: [slurring] Where are they? Where are the girls?

[Just then, a finger and a thumb come into view, "crushing" Kevin's head.]

Mark: I'm crushing your head. I'm crushing your head.

[They belong to Mark, who is sitting in a lawn chair.]

Mark: Get out of here, you drunken, drooling, sex-a-holic businessguy.

[He then laughs goofily as he gets a magic marker and crosses out the fifth of eight heads drawn on a cardboard box.]

Kevin: [climbing down the ladder; muttering] What are you doin'? Girls girls girls. Ya crazy halfwit.

Mark: [readying his fingers for another "attack"] Next!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video