Transcribed from: Comedy NetworkCast:
Transcribed by: firstname.lastname@example.org
[Scene: Outside of a house. Garbage truck pulls up. Mark and Kevin pick up bags and throw them into the truck.]
- Kevin- Garbage Collector
- Mark- Al Scagnetti the Garbage Collector
- Bruce- Man
Bruce: (across the street, clapping) Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
[Mark and Kevin give each other weird looks]
Bruce: Bravo! Bravo!
[Truck drives off]
[Truck stops in front of another house. Mark picks up the garbage and is about to throw it in the truck]
Bruce: I know what you're going to do with that. This is going to be great. (claps)
Mark: Look, you've been following me around for 3 days now. What's your problem?
Bruce: You're Al Scagnetti, aren't you?
Mark: (drops garbage) How'd you know?
Bruce: Well, I'm just a big fan of yours.
Bruce: I just really love your work, Mr. Scagnatti.
Mark: (confused) Thanks.
Bruce: Yeah, I find your approach so thorough. Your arms sweep so dignified. I find it all so cleansing, childlike, yet mournful. Huh?
Kevin: (nods his head)
Mark: (modestly) What are you talking about?
Bruce: I live at 10702 Brayside Drive.
Mark: Oh yeah. Yeah, I remember that route.
Bruce: You do?
Mark: Yeah, in fact, I think I even remember your garbage.
Mark: Yeah. Uh, you used to have bottles,
Mark: garbage bags,
Mark: and various paper products. Am I right?
Bruce: Yes. That is my garbage.
Mark: So why are you following me around the neighborhood?
Bruce: Well Al, I want what's best for my family so I'm going to buy a house on your route. (hits garbage truck)
Mark: (pulls out bottle of Whiskey from his pocket) Well, uh, you know, (mushy music starts playing) I'm just a garbage man. It's what I do.
Bruce: No, Al, I've seen a lot of good, even great garbage men, but you're- you're the best.
Kevin: (nods and gives Mark a playful punch on his arm)
Mark: You really think I'm good, huh?
Bruce: No I don't.
Bruce: Actually, I think you're horrible.
Bruce: Al, I'm with the city and there have been several complaints that you're very slow and often leave garbage behind. I'm putting you on probation.
[Bruce slaps a big yellow 'probation' sticker on Mark's jacket and walks away]