Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast-
Transcribed by: Andrew Greenberg
[Scene of a corn field at dusk]
- Scott- Man
- Bruce- White-haired Criminal
- Dave- Man's first date
- Kevin- Man's second date
[Scott and Dave leaving movie theater smiling.]
Dave: That was good. I really liked that. It was a good movie.
Scott: I really liked that. It was fun, eh?
Dave: It was-- that was a fun movie.
Scott: I wonder how it ended.
Dave: You wanted to stay.
Scott: No, I didn't.
Dave: You did. You wanted to stay. I'm sorry.
Dave: I'm sorry I made you leave. I'm--
Dave: We can go back there...
Dave: You were just being nice.
Scott: No! You were tired.
Scott: We can go see another movie if you want.
Dave: No, I don't think I want to see another movie.
Scott: Well, what do you want to do?
Dave: I don't know.
Scott: Want to go see a dead body?
[Cut to hustling through the cornfield with a flashlight.]
Scott: Do you prefer instant or drip or perked coffee?
Dave: You're gonna think I'm crazy, but I've always liked instant coffee better than regular, real coffee.
Scott: Me too! I do too! Here we are.
Dave: Oh, God. Oh, jeez.
Scott: Ta da!
[Throws open the cover over the body revealing a body of some guy in a white shirt and tie, with blood on the side of his head, gag in mouth, his hands tied with a belt]
[Dave making gasp-like oh / ho sounds in amazement.]
Dave: That's cool.Jeez.
[Cut to white haired criminal throwing Scott against a metal.]
Scott: [throw up against the fence] Ah! Ah!
Bruce: I can't believe you showed her the body.
Scott: I'm really sorry about that. But, you know how it is. It just came up in conversation.
Bruce: But we swore a blood oath.
Scott: I'm *really* sorry about that. I promise that I won't do it again. I really mean it. [whimpering] [to the other guy standing next to Bruce] Hi. I don't think we've met yet. [Bruce is seething.]
[Scott starts whimpering again.]
[Cut to movie theater again where Scott and now Kevin are leaving the theater. They're laughing.]
Kevin: Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful movie.
Scott: Oh, yeah.
Kevin: So... what now?
[Scott obviously thinking about whether or not to.]
[Cut to them hustling in the cornfield with a flashlight.]
Scott: Oh... Oh, here, here. Yeah. Ok.
[Scott and Kevin screaming.]
[Bruce as the white haired criminal is in the place that the body used to be. He stands up.]
Bruce: I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust you!
Scott: It came up in conversation!
Scott: [whimpering] Oh, no.
[Bruce starts choking Scott.]
Scott: Don't kill me!
Bruce: What am I going to do with you?
Scott: Aah! [faints and falls onto Kevin on the ground]
[Bruce walks off through the cornfield.]