But First...

Transcribed from: Comedy Network
Transcribed by: an anonymous donor
Cast:

[Scene takes place in a conference room. Kevin picks up a painting from a wall and turns it around. On the back of the painting there is a chart with the title reading "PROFIT POTENTIAL". Kevin places the chart on a stand. Bruce enters.]

Kevin: I'm almost ready.

Bruce: They're right behind me.

[Dave enters followed by Mark]

Dave: [while shaking Kevin's hand] Jay! How are ya?

Kevin: Chris hi. Hi.

Bruce: Gentlemen...

Mark: [shakes Kevin's hand] How you doing Jay? Good to see ya.

Kevin: Hello. It's good to see ya.

Bruce: [as he closes the room's doors] You know my new assistant Jay. [walks to table]

Mark: Yeah we met Jay. [sits down]

Dave: Oh yeah. [sits down]

Bruce: Uh we'd like to thank you for flying in on such short notice. Boy that red-eye flight sure can be bad! [laughs as he sits down]

Mark: Actually it was uh, it was pretty good today.

Dave: Yeah. It was quite a nice flight.

Bruce: [stammers] Well then it must be getting better! [laughs and then all start laughing]

Mark: [laughing] Yeah! It is getting better.

Dave: [laughing] The flight's getting better.

Bruce: Okay Jay! Down to business. [propels a pen towards Kevin across the table]

Kevin: [picks up pen] Thank you Robert. [gets up from chair] Okay gentlemen. As you know, we're very eager to do business with you.

Dave: Uh yes we know that.

Mark: [nodding] We know that, yeah.

Kevin: I'd like to begin the presentation, but first, THE WHORES!

[Room turns dark, 'party' lights and music are turned on. The door to a bar cabinet in the wall behind Kevin opens up. The window curtains close themselves. Four whores enter the room dancing. One goes to Kevin, one to Bruce, one to Dave, one to Mark.]

Dave: [standing] WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Mark: [standing] THIS IS HIGHLY IRREGULAR!

Bruce: JAY!! [standing] This is not how we do business here!

['Party' lights and music are turned off. Curtains open up. Bar's door closes.]

Bruce: Ladies uh please. You'll excuse us.

[women leave; Dave straightens his jacket]

Bruce: Ah gentlemen you'll have to excuse Jay. He's new to his post and he's anxious to please. Please excuse this *error in judgement*.

Dave: Well I've-- Yeah, alright. Fine. Fine. [sits down]

Mark: Sure. Alright, alright. [sits down]

Kevin: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. [sits down]

Bruce: Jay if you would [sitting down] we'll have the presentation. *Then* we'll have the whores!

[Dave smiles]

Mark: Yeah. Like always.

Dave: Yeah that'd be much better.

Kevin: Presentation then the whores...

Dave: Yeah.

Kevin: Exactly.

Bruce: Business then whores. [hits table with palm]


Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video