Tyrone Bibbins, Esquire

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: JZ3NIF@aol.com
Cast: [In an old man's bedroom, an old man is writing letters]

Scott: Dear Lillian, I'm old now. But then, so are you. Thank you for that hip advice. Not advice that was cool, but advice about my hip. I'll be dead soon. Your faithful servant, Tyrone Bibbins, esq.

Dear Peter, dearest Peter, my dear boy, have you found that "fole sauvage terrible" that you were looking for? Thank you for mentioning me in your talk show. I'll be dead soon. Your faithful servant, Tyrone Bibbins, esq. P.S. Thanks for the tiara. It makes a dandy collander.

Dear oak tree, thank you for shading me all these years. You have selflessly given of yourself to every season and...I love you. I'll be dead soon. [coughs] Your faithful servant, Tyrone Bibbins, esq.

P.S. Good luck to you and your people.

[rings for butler. Kevin enters, a man clearly not too pleased about his job.]

Kevin: Yeah?

Scott: James? Would you post these letters for me?

Kevin: Who's it to this time? The pope? A hedgehog? An empty container of yogurt?

Scott: Ah. Thank you for reminding me. I must remember to write to thank that empty container of yogurt for being so full of yogurt when I met him.

Kevin: Pony Express again?

Scott: Yes.

[Kevin leaves]

Scott: Dear James, thank you ever so much for posting those letters for me.

[Cut to Kevin, neighing, throwing the letters in the fire, and playing a record of horses' feet clopping]


Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video