Impromptu Tractor with Kids

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Trista Lycosky
[In the center of a track field stands eight little kids, two older kids, and Mark. The kids all have on yellow t-shirts and blue jeans. Mark has on the same thing, but also a blue satin baseball jacket. He stands apart from the kids.]

Mark (V.O.): Ladies and Gentlemen. If you'll turn your attention to center field, The Children of the Farm Belt, inspired by the impact of technology on their lives, spontaneously, and without rehearsal, salute the tractor!

[The kids run off screen. Mark motions with his hands as if he's shooing them off. He pauses for a second and then he exits the screen in the opposite direction.]

[Cut to a packed house in the stands, all standing and cheering wildly.]

[Cut back to field. The kids run back on. All them are wearing, what amounts to, a cardboard box over their clothes. Each box is painted in reds, yellows, blues, and black to resemble a section of a tractor. Moving left to right: There's two kids in front. Then a line of three. Then there's a solo kid and then the two older ones. In back of the line of three are two others. The two older, taller kids are hold large cardboard wheels on sticks. The two kids in front hold smaller wheels on sticks. They also are wearing large, round underwater goggles and masks. The first of the two kids behind the line of three sticks on a baseball helmet with tall grey stick on top. The other kid behind the line of three wears a box like the front line three. The solo kid wears an all black box and has on a baseball helmet with a steering wheel on its side.]

[Cut to a shot of the one girl with the scuba mask. She turns toward the camera and giggles.]

[Cut to a shot of the one boy with the scuba mask. He turns. The mask is all fogged up and he looks less than thrilled.]

[Cut back to full shot. Mark now enters. He has on blue overalls now, and a chair tied around his waist with rope.]

[Mark lets out a hearty "ha ha ha." There's now a space between the steering wheel kid and the two older kids for Mark to "sit." He mounts the invisible tractor there.]

[Mark puts out his hands and the steering wheel kid tilts his head at an awkward angle and Mark puts his hand on the wheel. Another "ha ha ha." He takes out an invisible key and over-emphasizes that he is going to put it in the tractor.]

[Cut to the line of three and identically dressed kid in the back row. They have two round holes on the top of their boxes which have cylinder grey pegs in them. They make "vroom vroom" sounds as they move the pegs up and down from the inside.]

[Cut to Mark laughing.]

[Cut to full screen. All the kids walk off, with the kids with wheels turning the wheels, the kids with pegs moving the pegs, and with Mark laughing and waving.]

[Cut to the full house going wild.]


Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video