Transcribed from: Comedy Central[Mark walks through a cornfield, stops, squats, sifts dirt between his fingers and smells his fingertips]
Transcribed by: M. Howie
Mark: Sixty years ago, my grandfather bought this parcel of land. He was a strong man, an honest man, and with the help of his young family he cleared this land, he made his home here. The land, well, it was rich and good, the crops, well, they grew tall and sturdy, as did the McIntyre name. That's a name that's become synonymous with truth and honesty in these parts. Over the years, we've all worked this land, and loved it, and it's loved us back. And then in the summer of '69 [tail smacks his shoulder], I grew a tail.
[Mark walks away, tail swishing back and forth.]