Obtained from: Kids in the Hall FAQCast:
Transcribed by: firstname.lastname@example.org
Mark and Bruce: This is a song about a great folk hero. [singing] Running free...running free...running faggot. Running faggot running free; see the faggot, see the running faggot, running faggot running free.
- Scott: Running Faggot
- Mark and Bruce: Singers
- Kevin: Stripling, Redneck
- Dave: Gunfighter, Redneck
Scott: Howdy stripling.
Kevin [Stripling]: Howdy....faggot.
Scott: Well, what can I do for you?
Kevin: My puppy's hungry, I don't know what to do!
Scott: Hm. Why not try feeding it puppy food?
Kevin: Good idea, faggot! Why don't you stick around and see the results?
Scott: Nope. Gotta be hitching a ride on the wind.
Mark and Bruce: Running faggot running free; see the faggot he fed a puppy, running faggot running free.
Scott: Howdy, stranger.
Dave [Gunfighter]: Good ta see ya, faggot.
Scott: Well, what seems to be the problem?
Dave:Well I'll let ya have it straight. We're surrounded on all side by about 10,000 angry Indians, and it looks like there's only (pulls out gun) one way out.
Scott: Have you ever thought of talking to them?
Mark and Bruce: [singing] Running faggot running; he stopped the carnage by gettin' folks a talkin' 'stead just a sqawkin', sqawkin' and a gawkin', mockin' and a rockin', running free.
Dave and Kevin [Rednecks]: Yeeeeha! Walkin' talkin' stereotypes! Yeeeha!
Dave: Look what we got here...
Kevin: Got ourselves a pretty little faggot.
Dave: Guess we better beat on him.
Kevin: Guess so.
Mark and Bruce: [singing] Running faggot, running free; see the faggot running from the rednecks, running free. Run you faggot run you! Run you faggot run you! Run you faggot running free.
Bruce: Godspeed through Texas, faggot.
Mark: Via con Dios, el Faggot.