Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast-
Transcribed by: Olivia Shank (correction by Sarah)
[Scene takes place in livingroom with two couples: Scott w/ Mark, Bruce w/ Kevin.]
- Bruce- Stu
- Kevin- Randy
- Mark- Nina and Gunther
- Scott- Murray
Scott: Uh-huh, yes. Ok, ok, ok. May I propose a toast.
Mark: Oh honey, toasts are so corny.
Scott: Yes they are, but this great land was built on toasts.
Bruce: Is that the toast?
[All laugh again.]
Scott: Touche sir! No, this is the toast: To Stu and Randy on their anniversary.
Bruce: And many more, kids. And many more.
[Toast champagne glasses.]
Mark: Oh, I missed you.
[Mark and Bruce toast glasses.]
[Mark and Scott start clanging glasses gently with silverware.]
Mark: ...Come on...
Bruce: All right.
[Kevin and Bruce quickly kiss.]
Scott: Maybe we should give these kids their privacy, huh?
Mark: Oh stop it Murray.
Scott: You know what's really weird here, is that we've known you two, for how long? Three years. And we've never been told how you met.
Kevin: Oh. Well, actually we met quite by accident at a food eating contest.
Scott: What? Well gee, that's interesting.
[Scene changes to the pie eating contest.]
Bruce (V.O.): I don't usually go to places like that.
Kevin (V.O.): Well, me either.
Bruce (V.O.): You see I was there with a friend who was really depressed.
[Bruce is with the Oversensitive guy.]
Bruce (V.O.): He had just broken up with his girlfriend and he was devastated. I thought if he could eat food as quickly as his system could take, it would cheer him up.
Scott (V.O.): Isn't that sweet.
Kevin (V.O.): I was there with my fiance, Gunther. He was a proofreader, so it's understandable he was under a lot of pressure. Pie eating was what he did to unwind. You know, just let his head down and consume. The wedding was weeks away and then I saw Stu...
[Bruce and Kevin look at each other from the table.]
Bruce (V.O.): It was love at first sight. You see, I wasn't hungry, but when I saw Randy I realized I always been famished.
Kevin (V.O.): Me too.
[Both dig into the pies. Each bite they take, they get more and more pie all over their faces.]
Bruce (V.O.): By the time the fog had lifted I had aten eight pies and won the contest. The rest is history.
[Kevin and Bruce kiss with pie still on faces.]
[Scene changes back to livingroom.]
Mark: Isn't that romantic?
Scott: So what happened to Gunther?
Kevin: Well, he moved back to the old country and died.
Mark: That's so romantic.
Scott: You know, can I get you kids some pie?
Bruce: Touche. No, seriously I think we've had enough to last a lifetime. So how did you meet anyway?
Mark: Oh. Well I met Murray in a public hanging. We were worried we couldn't keep up the pace.
Scott: But we did, didn't we?
[They all hug.]