Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: firstname.lastname@example.org
Kevin: Hi. I'm Kevin McDonald. You may know me as a member of the group "The Kids in The Hall," who's show you are watching right now. Hi. I'm Kevin McDonald. You may know me as a member of the comedy troupe "The Kids in The Hall," who;s show you've just turned to. Each member of the troupe tries to write at least one sketch per show. Well, I thought that my sketch this evening deserved a little information. You see, I'm tired of writing the traditional comedy sketch -that is to say, one with a beginning, and a middle and an end. So I wrote one without a beginning or an end, it just has a middle. Some of the other guys in the troupe are saying that I'm a little burned out, and I didn't really have any good enought ideas to write a beginning or an end, and I'm just trying to get by on a gimmick. That, of course, is ridiculous. They also say that if this sketch doesn't work out, they're going to reevaluate me as a member of the troupe. So, I hope you enjoy this, I really hope you enjoy this... And now, my little piece of comedy.
- Kevin McDonald- himself
- Bruce McCulloch- in a pink leotard and tutu
- David Foley- in scuba gear
- Mark McKinney- in a sherrif's outfit
- Kevin's mom- herself
[cut to a living room set]
Bruce: Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. [slapping Dave with each "Stop it"] Gotta stop you and your revolutionaries from taking over this country.
Dave: No, 'cause *I've* got to stop *you* and *your* revolutionaries from taking over this country.
Mark: Hell, *both* of you stop it. Don't you guys remember what happened last time? [turns around to see dog dangling in a harness] Oh, mornin' Mr. Mayor, how are ya, anyway? I see you're back. Thought you weren't comin' back 'til Tuesday. That's what I thought, cuz, that's what I heard, yea...
[cut back to Kevin]
Kevin: Well, that was my sketch, or the middle of it, anyways. It was kind of conceptual, but don't you think Mark's accent was kinda funny?
[Pan out to see Kevin's Mom beside him]
Kevin's Mom: I thought it was a great middle, Kevin.
Kevin: Thanks, mom. My mother! Of course, she's the woman that I support. Well, not financially, but spiritually. And if of course, I was out of the troupe for any reason, I would find it hard to give her the support I like to give her. I need to work to be hapy. So if I'm not in the show next week after the troupe reevaluates me, I would just like to thank the Kids in The Hall for giving me the chance to fail, which is all I asked, and all I did. So mom, uh, what time is your operation?
Kevin's Mom: What operation?