Lonely City

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
Cast: Scott: You want somethin' for nothin'? Go to hell. Cuz it's all about this my friend. You don't got this [feeling his crotch] ya got squat.

Mark: Hey! Shut up, man! Geez. Shut. Up. [to audience] This has always been a lonely city. I know it. These are the signs of loneliness. One man drinking contests.

[Cut to Scott]

Mark: Hookers working for free.

[Cut to Kevin showing he has no money and the whore pulling him up from his seat by his tie....Kevin acts suprised.]

Mark: Any bachelor on a bar phone.

[Cut to Dave.]

Dave: I think you should come down. I think you should. Why? Because it's happy hour; that's why.

Mark: But what really gets to me is babies. . .eating alone.

[Cut to a baby in a high chair trying to feed itself.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video