Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Tlyco@aol.com
Scott: You want somethin' for nothin'? Go to hell. Cuz it's all about this my friend. You don't got this [feeling his crotch] ya got squat.
- Mark: a bartender
- Scott: a drunk
- Dave: a bachelor
- Kevin: a john
- Woman: a hooker
Mark: Hey! Shut up, man! Geez. Shut. Up. [to audience] This has always been a lonely city. I know it. These are the signs of loneliness. One man drinking contests.
[Cut to Scott]
Mark: Hookers working for free.
[Cut to Kevin showing he has no money and the whore pulling him up from his seat by his tie....Kevin acts suprised.]
Mark: Any bachelor on a bar phone.
[Cut to Dave.]
Dave: I think you should come down. I think you should. Why? Because it's happy hour; that's why.
Mark: But what really gets to me is babies. . .eating alone.
[Cut to a baby in a high chair trying to feed itself.]