Headcrusher: The Kid

Transcribed from: "Best Of" Video
Transcribed by: Cancergir1@aol.com
Mark: Oh, I can't! It's just too cruel!! But I must, it's my job! Mmmmno, I can 't it's just too cruel!! (waving) Hey! Kid!! Hey kid! Who dressed you this morning?

Kid: My mom.

Mark: Ah. Uh-huh. And do you like that suit?

Kid: Yeah.

Mark: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And what do you want to be when you grow up?

Kid: A businessman!! A businessman!!

Mark: Then I'm crushing your precocious little head!! Crush crush crush crush crush crush! Pop pop! Crush! Why did I do that? I feel terrible! He was just a kid! Just a cute little kid! I must go to church, and confess. (folds up lawn chair) I must. Yes. Oh, Father forgive me- Wait! I should wait 'till I get to church to say that. Tell it to the man. Tell it to his face. Why am I always crushing heads? That was just a little kid. He didn't deserve that. I mean, I should crush the guy who sold him that suit. I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your- Oh, there I go again. Once a headcrusher, always a headcrusher. I mean, I gotta get a get a grip of yourself. You don't, I mean, have to do it every single time someone comes around the blo- I'm crushing your head! I'm- Stop, stop it, stop it. Stop it. You don't have to crush every head! You don't have to- Not everyone. Just maybe ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine percent of them deserve to be flatheads. Not the kids…

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video