Headcrusher: Wall Street

Transcribed from: "Best Of" Video
Transcribed by: Cancergir1@aol.com
Cast: Mark: Hey, Wall Street! Don't panic! I mean, I'm only crushing your heads!! Crush you! (Looking at businessmen) What the hell do you guys find to talk about anyway? (In mocking voice) 'Well, I like to put my money into Texaco.' 'Well, I like to put it into Gulf.' 'Well, I put my money in my mattress.' 'Well, I put my money in my wallet.' You're boring me! I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head! Hey! I just renamed your firm Merrill Lynch and the Flathead! I crush you. (salutes) Hail to you, wretched bike courier! On streets of shame, choking on car exhaust, just trying to carve out that slice of the American dream with your two-wheeled knife! I pity you. And I crush you! Sorry, nothing personal, I'm apolitical!! I'm crushing-

Scott: Excuse me. What are you doing?

Mark: I'm doing something…

Scott: Uh, what? Like, like what?

Mark: Ah, something….With people…

Scott: What - what are you doing?

Mark: Hold that thought. Conference call. (runs to face Scott) I'm crushing your head!! I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!! That's what I'm doing! Flathead! Like putty, in my hands! These business boys!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video