Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast-
Transcribed by: Joanna
[Setting: The Steps]
- Dave- Riley
- Scott- Butch
- Kevin- Smitty
Dave: I've been thinking. Maybe Smitty's right about us... maybe we are shallow.
Dave: Perhaps we should try injecting some political issues into our discussion.
Scott: [impressed] Wow...
Dave: For example: what do you think of the issue of gays and marriage?
Scott: [thinks for a moment] I think they should. Maybe... I don't know! [even more impressed] Wow...!
[Kevin enters and sits down next to them.]
Dave: Hey Smitty! We were just discussing the issue of gays and marriage.
Kevin: [pleased] Oh, really?
Scott: Yeah... it's a complicated issue.
Kevin: What's so complicated about basic human rights?
Scott: I don't know.
Dave: Well, aren't we really just fighting for the right to be trapped in loveless marriages as well?
Kevin: That's not the point.
Dave: Well, I just happen to think that gays were meant to live in sin.
Scott: Yeah... it's hotter that way.
Kevin: Why do I bother talking to you two when you're so uninformed? Can't you see that because we bond outside the law, our relationships don't matter?
Scott: Well, mine don't.
Kevin: [annoyed] I'm talking about normal people, not a complete slut like you.
Scott: I'm not a complete slut!
[Scott hangs his head, hurt.]
Dave: Oh, look. Now you've gone and made Butchy all upset.
Kevin: [insincerely] I'm sorry, Butch. Sometimes I get so carried away fighting the good fight that I forget about the little people around me.
Scott: [Still upset] Oh, that's ok.
Dave: Well, I've learned something. I've learned that issues make people angry!
Scott: Yeah... [suddenly cheerful again] Let's go to the bathes!
Kevin: I admit it... I'm horny.
[They guys walk off together]