Transcribed from: Comedy NetworkCast:
Transcribed by: firstname.lastname@example.org
[In a business office]
- Kevin- Simms, a business applicant
- Dave- a rival applicant
- Mark- the boss
Kevin: Aren't you nervous at all?
Kevin: Aren't you worried I might get this promotion instead of you?
Dave: I've got this promotion. It's in the bag.
Kevin: What makes you so sure?
Dave: I licked a lobster.
Dave: I licked a lobster for luck.
Kevin: You licked a lobster for luck.
Dave: Yep. [Opens his briefcase and pulls out a lobster] This baby's never let me down before. I licked the lobster, you didn't. Therefore lady luck is on my side. [Starts licking the lobster] Come on lobster. Come on lobster.
Kevin: Look, forget it. Licking a lobster isn't going to help you. You don't have a chance at this job. You have a terrible work ethic. Socially, you're inept. Plus, I have far more experience than you.
Dave: Oh really? But I get the job [lick], he don't. I get the job [lick], he don't. I get the job-- [Kevin snatches away the lucky crustacean] Let go of my lobster!
Kevin: See how much luck you have now. [Starts to lick the lobster] Look what I'm doing now, huh? Guess you're screwed, eh? I'm licking your lobster! I'm licking your lobster! Who's lucky now? Huh? Huh?
[Enter Mark, out of his office, behind Kevin]
Mark: Simms! I was going to give you the job, but I see you're busy licking a lobster. [Shakes Dave's hand] Congratulations. Job's yours.
Dave: Thanks. [Aside to Kevin] I knew that lobster would be lucky for me.