Twenty Minutes of a Life Lost

Transcribed from: Arena (foxtel - Australia)
Transcribed by:
Cast: [Dave with beard is asleep on desk, Kevin enters.]

Kevin: Hank wakeup, wakeup Hank.

Dave: What's up?

Kevin: you were asleep.

Dave: Asleep? For how long?

Kevin: Brace yourself Hank, you've been sleeping for... 20 minutes.

Dave: 20 minutes, [looks in mirror and touches beard] it doesn't seem possible. My god Steve, could what you're saying really be true? Tell me has much changed while I've been sleeping. [Walks over to couch and sits down next to a photo of himself with beard.]

Kevin: Come see for yourself, Hank.

Dave: What are all those strange machines down there?

Kevin: Those are cars, Hank.

Dave: Cars. But they're nothing like the cars of 20 minutes ago.

Kevin: They can now reach speeds of a 120 kilometres per hour.

Dave: Dear god, Steve. At speeds like that a man's head will explode and - what's a kilometre?

Kevin: A kilometre, Hank, is a unit of measurment... [Woman enters with baby.]

Woman: My god, Hank, I thought you were dead. I've come in to clear your office.

Dave: Marion, I guess in a way I was dead. But I've come back to life, I've come back to you, Marion. My god, that isn't...

Woman: Yes, it's your new son Derrick.

Dave: I've missed watching my boy grow up. [Man enters.]

Man: Hon, come on we're gonna be late for the... cottage.

Dave: Who the hell is this?

Woman: Oh Hank, you have to understand I thought you were dead. I hadn't heard from you in so long. The lonliness was intolerable... and then I met Jason, and felt I could begin to live again.

Dave: That's okay, Marion. I can't blame you. I hope you and Jason will be very happy together, and Marion perhaps it would be better if little Derrick if he didn't know anything about me.

Man: You're a big man, Hank.

Dave: You just take care of them, you hear me. [He and the woman walk out as Scott walks in.]

Scott: Hello, Marion.

Woman: Goodbye, Mr. Ridley.

Scott: Well, well, well if it isn't lazarus himself.

Dave: Good afternoon, Mr. Ridley.

Scott: Hank, my boy, you now how fond I am of you, but it's a different world than the one you left behind 20 minutes ago. The parners have asked me to dismiss you from the firm.

Dave: But, sir I'm sure if I just...

Scott: IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS! I'M SORRY! [Runs out of room.]

Dave: Well, I've lost my wife. I've lost my job. I've lost 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Damn the decaf.

Kevin: What are gonna do now, Hank?

Dave: What can I do? I'm just going to have to start over.

Kevin: I'll grease you up for the elonkulator.

Dave: Elonkulator?

Kevin: You have a lot to learn, Hank. [Both walk out of room.] Come on to the grease pit.

Dave: Now, the grease is important?

Kevin: It is for me, Hank.

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video