Transcribed from: Comedy Central[Mark and Bruce are two aging men.]
Transcribed by: Heather Jones
[Mark is at a health club, shaving.]
[Bruce comes in mumbling a tune...]
Mark: Hey, you know what's really terrific?
Bruce: Getting up so early in the morning you don't have to rush?
Mark: Yeah, yeah, that's terrific, but what's really terrific is you go out for a nice supper.
Bruce: Oh, that's just super.
Mark: Idn't that great? You know, we went to this one place last week, it's not too far, it's not too crowded, you can park the car, we had a beautiful time.
Bruce: Yeah, we went to this one place, it was just fantastic. They serve up really a tremendous meal. It's one of those Japanese places where they serve up the food right in front of ya.
Mark: Now that sounds fabulous.
Bruce: Yeah, it's one where the guys are there, work their knives, and the things they do with those knives, it's-it's a show, it's just-it's fantastic. It's super. It's entertaining as hell. It's a hoot is what it is.
Mark: Yeah, you know what's really, really great? I find is, you get up first thing in the morning, that's so super.
Bruce: Oh, that's fantastic.
[The word "DULL" appears on the screen.]
[Bruce mumbles a tune as he and Mark sit down.]
Bruce: Oh yeah.
Bruce: Here's something that Doug Lake used to do a lot.
Mark: Oh, yeah.
Bruce: You get up first thing in the morning, you have your normal tremendous meal--
Mark: Oh, sounds fabulous.
Bruce: You get dressed and you drive to work.
Mark: Yeah, sounds great.
Bruce: No, no, but listen to the truly terrific part. You drive to work, and the radio's playing one of those fabulous old tunes, you know, and you're humming maybe--
Bruce: And my God [inhales], the air. You get to work and you drive right by.
Bruce: It's Saturday.
[Both laugh and "DULL SINCE THE HEART ATTACK" appears on the screen.]
[Both groan as they stand up.]
Mark: So, listen, I hope I'm gonna see you at the Christmas party.
Bruce: You kidding? You'd have to drag me away from that shindig. Nice band, nice spread-- wow, it's gonna be fun.
Mark: Yeah! Last years, wasn't that great? What a hoot. This year-- got a suit picked out, nice shirt, fantastic.
Mark: Yeah, it's gonna be fantastic.
Bruce: Fantastically terrific.
[Under Mark, "4 years until the next heart attack", and under Bruce, "11 days until the next heart attack".]