Doe A Deer

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (
Cast: [Scene- A park with paved walkways, foutains and a glass business-building in the back]

[Mark buys an ice cream cone from a vendor and is walking along when he hears a crying boy being comforted by his mom He walks over and kneels]

Mark: Hey. What's wrong little soldier?

Woman: We lost our dog.

[The boy nods sadly

Mark: Oh no.... here.

[He gives his ice cream to the boy]

Mark: Hey, don't worry.. I'm sure he'll turn up.

[The boy covers his eyes like he's going to cry again]

Mark: Aww....Don't be so glum....

[Mark stands and smiles as the music begins]

Mark: Do- a deer- a female deer!

[Kevin, who was reading the paper on a bench drops it]

Kevin: Re- a drop of golden sun!

[Dave walks along in a business like manner]

Dave: Mi - a name- I call myself!

[Bruce walks along in a silly long step walked, past a bum]

Bruce: Fa- a long, long way to run!

[Scott is buying a flower from a florist with a street cart as he stetches while singing]

Scott: So- a needle pulling thread!

[Kevin and Bruce do an exagerated walk forward and right past a reflecting pool]

Kevin and Bruce: La- A note to follow So!

[Scott and Dave do the same walk past the same pool, only forward and left]

Scott and Dave: Ti- A drink with jam and bread!

Mark: That will bring us back to...

[the other business men put a hand out as they say their Do]

Kevin: Do.

Dave: Do.

Bruce: Do.

Scott: Do.

[Boy and mom laugh. The boy has eaten the ice cream. They join hands with the business men, the boy in the center with mom and Mark on either side as they move forward from the front of a foutain.]

All: Do- a deer- a female deer!

[Mom and Mark drop to kneel by the boy as he sings]

Boy: Re- a drop of golden sun!

[The business men do a step-areobic dance on the stone steps, holding newspapers as the mom sings while holding her son]

Woman: Mi- a name- I call myself!

[The punks jump up in front of the camera]

Punks: Fa- a long, long way to run!

[Pan behind the punks to see the bum and the florist standing next to each other, in front of the big reflecting pool]

Florist and Bum: So- a needle pulling thread!

[The florist holds hands with the bum as they lift their free arms she holds a boquet; he holds a wooden cane.]

[We then see all, standing around a circular fountain, the boy and mom and Dave closest to camera, two busniess men on either side of Mom and dave, the punks on the back right side, the Florist and Bum on the back left. The business men all wave open umbrellas. The male punk and florist spread their arms while standing. The female punk and bum spread their arms while sitting.]

All: La- a note to follow So!

[A staircase with guard railing. The punks flank either side of the railing as Kevin jumps up in front of the camera!]

Kevin: Ti!

[All hold on to the railing with one hand and tilt away from it, waving with their free hand]

All: A drink with jam and bread!

[All crowd in a semi-circle, gesturing to the boy and his mom who are in the center, as we pull back from Mark]

All: That will bring us back to DoReMiFaSoLaTiDoooooooooooo!

[The boy and his mom smile and laugh as a dog runs between Mark and Kevin and goes to the boy and his mom. The others clap, smile and cheer at seeing the happy boy and his puppy.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video