Darrill: Daydreaming

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Marie (Ree) Panepinto
Cast: [A tiny oompah band is sitting on a windowsill playing.]

Kevin: [heard in a distant dreamy fashion] Darrill...Darrill....Darrill!

[Cut to Darrill and Kevin at a restaurant.]

Mark: Oh! Gosh! Where did I go off to then, eh?

Kevin: Well you're cheese is getting cold.

Mark: Oh, I'm sorry...I was completely gone there for a minute.

Kevin: Well what were you thinking about?

Mark: Oh you know, just listening to the band.

Kevin: Listening to what band?

Mark: Oh you know, when you drift away, when you daydream you always see that little tiny oompah band and you sort of nod to the music...you know.

Kevin: I don't see a tiny oompah band when I daydream.

Mark: What do you mean you don't see a tiny little oompah band when you daydream?

Kevin: Well I don't.

Mark: Well what *do* you see?

Kevin: Well I see lots of things. I see...things...I see people....

Mark: People?

Kevin: ...friends, or sometimes I imagine myself somewhere else.

Mark: [shocked] Somewhere else? How charming! So you take a little vacation without leaving where you're at? Splendid! Gosh, and what do you take for the headaches?

Kevin: What headaches?

Mark: Oh you know, those unbelievably painful headaches you get [stops to hold his head] just after you daydream.

Kevin: I don't get any headaches...my God are you getting headaches?

Mark: Yes, every time.

Kevin: Maybe you should see a doctor.

Mark: Do you think I could be sick?

[Mark gets a far off look on his face. Dissolve to the oompah band. Dissolve to Mark in a doctor's office. His back is to us.

Dave: [heard in a distant tone] Darrill...Darrill...Darrill.

Mark: Yes Doctor?

Dave: I'm afraid that you have a brain tumor.

[Mark turns around and he has a huge throbbing bump on his forehead.]

Mark: Yes. I was afraid that's what it was.

Dave: You *are* going to die.

Mark: And with so much left undone. I have yet to visit Asia Minor.

[Back to restaurant.]

Kevin: [distant tone] Darrill...Darrill!

Mark: Hey! I just went to a doctor's office. Yes, and I imagined he was telling me that I was dying of a brain tumor! This is fantastic. A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

Kevin: Well that's wonderful, I have to go. [Gets up]

Mark: Oh, you're not going.

Kevin: Yes I am.

Mark: Oh you're not going.

Kevin: Yes I am.

Mark: You're not going to go.

Kevin: Yes I am.

Mark: Allright, you go, and I'll daydream a little adventure for you using my new found powers of imagination. OK?

Kevin: Goodbye, Darrill.

[Mark tries to kiss Kevin, but he's already gone. Mark sits back down and gets a thoughtful look on his face.]

[Dissolve to the oompah band with Kevin playing the triangle.]

Mark: Oh yes......Allright.....Oh yes.....Work that love triangle.....Yes....Yes....

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video