The Beatles?

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by:
[Dave and Kevin are at a party]

Dave: I know it's a cliche, but my favorite album of all time is still Sgt. Pepper's.

Kevin: Sgt. Pepper's, what's that?

Dave: Only the Beatles' most famous album!

Kevin: I'm sorry, the Beatles? Who are they?

Dave: The best group of the sixties!

Kevin: Oh, the sixties. I didn't hear much music in the sixties.

Dave: [Laughs] What are you talking about?

Kevin: Well dad always was a little crazy. After the car accident he started medication and things got worse. One night he woke me up and knocked me out. He brought me down to the basement where I lived for the next ten years. I heard no music, I had no friends. They shoved food under the door so I had to eat pancakes and pizza. It was awful, but I survived.

Dave: [Embarrassed] Gee I'm sorry I uh, didn't know.

Kevin: Of course I've heard of the Beatles you retard. HEY EVERYONE! [He says to entire room] I just told this guy that my crazy dad locked me in the basement for ten years. [He laughs and walks away.]

Dave: [Says to party] I'm gonna kill him. That's understood, right?

Party: [Assorted "Yeah's"]

[Dave walks away after Kevin.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video