Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Michelle Tang
Cast- [Scene: Various shots and scenes from inside a party. Dave and Scott are seen smoking at the bar.]

Scott: Oh, I give up. I'm leaving -- this place holds nothing for me.

Dave: Oh, give it a chance.

Scott: Oh, come on.

Dave: I mean, what about that guy?

[Man seen in a crowd with his back toward the camera.]

Scott: Oh. Ohhh -- well, his suit is nice.

Dave: Mmm.

[Man turns around and reveals that he only has one big blue eye.]

Scott: Ohhh...a cyclops.

Dave: Gorgeous.

Scott: Mmm...dig the baby blue [licks lips]. He's looking at you.

Dave: No, he's looking at you.

Scott: No...he's looking right between us [turning around].

[Man is actually checking himself out in the mirror behind Dave and Scott.]

Scott: Oh, he's so conceited.

Dave: Let's get out of here.

Scott: He's probably gay anyways.

Dave: Well, you know the Greeks.

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video