Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Marie (Ree) Panepinto
Corrections by: Amy K.
[Typical STEPS opening with the cute music and key.]
- Dave- Riley
- Scott- Butch
- Kevin- Smitty
Kevin: I'm a little nervous today, boys.
Scott: Oh yeah, why's that, Smitty?
Kevin: My parents are coming to town.
Dave: Oh that is such a drag. Oh God, I mean you gotta hide all your Tom of Finland calendars, your porn. You gotta strip your record collection of all your dance divas, and repaint.
Kevin: Well that's just it. I'm tired of the lies, I'm tired of the closet, I'm going to tell them I'm gay.
Scott: Wow...I could never tell my parents I'm gay, cuz I'm not really. You know, I'm just really sexual.
Dave: Yeah, how bout really *really* sexual.
Kevin: When did your parents find out, Riley?
Dave: Oh, my parents don't know.
Scott: What? Your parents don't know. How could they not? I mean, you know--you're so effeminate.
Dave: I am not effeminate. I'm just classy. I don't read gay, unlike you.
Scott: [in typical Butch style] Wow.
Kevin: How can we call ourselves grown-ups unless we're honest with our parents? We owe them the truth.
Dave: Look, I owe my parents exactly $770 from University, after that we're just good friends.
Kevin: Well I have to go. I told them I'd meet them at Pesto's at six. Wish me luck.
Dave: Good luck.
Scott: See you later.
[Music starts and takes a lull.]
[Dave glares at Scott for a few seconds.]
Dave: I am not effeminate.
[Music starts back up and key comes up.]
Scott: Yes you are.
Dave: No I am not.
Scott: Oh yeah.
Dave: Why don't you shut up.