Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Tor Y. Harbin
[Dave is sitting in the living room of an apartment with a bemused expression on his face.]
- Mark- slow-talking guy
- Kevin- his roommate
- Dave- Tony
Mark: [talking very slow as he does for the entire sketch] Hey, Tony, want to hear some music?
[He turns on a record player which seems to be running at the same speed as his speech pattern.]
Mark: [singing along] "Smoke on the water, fire in the sky". [He then makes the sign of the devil with one hand.] Rock 'n' roll!
[Mark continues singing as Dave glances over at the television, where the hockey game that is on is also in slow motion.]
Dave: [shakes his head] I must be drunker than I thought.
Mark: Here, Tony, have some cake.
[He takes a piece of chocolate cake and stuffs it in his mouth slowly. Then he turns off the record player.]
Mark: What's wrong, Tony? You don't look so good.
Dave: I don't feel so good. Maybe I should go.
[Dave gets up to leave.]
Mark: Ah, that's too bad.
[When Dave reaches the doorway, Kevin walks in from another room.]
Kevin: [normal speed] Hey, did you get rid of Tony yet?
[A look of surprise fiils Kevin's face as their scam is uncovered.]
Kevin: Sorry about that.
Dave: Look, if you two want me to leave, just say so.
Mark and Kevin: [Kevin joins in on the slow-talking] We want you to leave.
Dave: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Dave walks out.]
[These next few movements are slow and quite exaggerated. At the same time Kevin reaches over to pick up a bowl of chips, Mark makes a fist, lunges his arm back and then forward. In a wonderful bit of timing, Kevin turns back around only to be greeted by Mark's slow-motion punch, which knocks him down and sends the bowl of chips flying.]