Somebody Doesn't Like You

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: I
Cast: [Kevin and Dave are setted at table in restaurant. Mark enters.]

Kevin: I love salted margaritas.

Dave: These are great margaritas here.

Mark: Hey Ken, Sandra.

Kevin and Dave: Hi Brian.

Mark: How are you?

Dave: Fine, how are you doing?

Mark: God, it's so weird running into you like this 'cause,you know, just the other day you were the topic of a little discussion.

Kevin: really?

Mark: Well, I mean, not you [pointing at Kevin] or you guys as a couple, just Ken.

Dave: Oh, really?

Mark: Yeah, you know, this is hard to put in delicate terms but I met this guy.

Dave: Uh huh.

Mark: There's this guy who doesn't like you.

Dave: Oh, really?

Mark: I know, it's crazy, eh? I mean, you're the nicest guy going, I mean, everybody likes Ken. That's why it was so freaky to me, I mean, I didn't know what to say. I wish I had known what to say.

Dave: Oh well,that's okay,i mean, it doesn't bother me that there's, you know, one guy there that doesn't like me.

Kevin: Besides, I'm sure there's more than just one guy.

Dave: That's pretty quick, hon.

Kevin: Come on, honey, you know what i mean.

Dave: Yeah, right.

Mark: No, I'm sorry, I don't. I mean, I can't imagine more than one guy not liking Ken, I mean,finding out there was even one nearly made my head explode. You know, I mean, I've tried to figure it out. I've tried and I've tied but, you know, nothing's coming. You know what I'm saying, I mean, it's just ... I didn't even get any sleep last night, you know?

Dave: Brian, what were some of the things this guy was saying?

Mark: Oh man, he was saying stuff like,you know,untrusting, untrustworthy, smug, a sort of smugness,you know. I can't really remember, I mean, I was in, you know, a daze, a fog of disbelief.

Kevin: I think you're making too much of this, Brian.

Mark: No, I don't think I am. This is a domino, Sandra. There are certain things in your life that are dependent upon other things and when one of those things goes down, the others are set in motion, okay?

Dave: Brian, maybe you should settle down.

Mark: Settle down? I'm sorry, what do you mean settle down? It's not that easy. You can't just say that.

Kevin: You're causing a bit of a scene, Brian.

Dave: Yeah, are you okay?

Mark: All right, it's me. I'm the guy. I'm the one guy who doesn't like you. I'm the only guy I know who doesn't like you . Can't you understand what I'm going through? I mean, I've tried to like you but I don't. You I like [pointing at Kevin] but you, no way [pointing at Dave].

Dave: Hey, you now, that's okay, you know, Brian. I mean, you don't have to like me. You know, you're still all right with me.

Mark: You're so sucky.

Dave: Can you believe that? What?

Kevin: I've never seen that look on your face. There's a sort of smugness to it.

Dave: Hon, don't do this.

Kevin: Or maybe I just never noticed it before.

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video