Transcribed from: Comedy Central[Bruce is shining Kevin's shoes outside.]
Transcribed by: Jenny876@aol.comBruce: Nice day.
Kevin: Yep.
Bruce: My hands.
Kevin: Pardon me?
Bruce: My hands.
Kevin: What about your hands?
Bruce: My hands...they move and they shine.
Kevin: Yeah they [pause] they do a good job.
Bruce: Thanks. My hands wave good-bye. They also wave hello (hello said in a funny voice).
Kevin: My hands do that, too.
Bruce: I bet they do. But right now my hands have some shining to do.
Kevin: Good, I'm kind of on a tight schedule here.
Bruce: My hands say that's ok [makes OK sign with hands]. They know you have to go (laughs). [shines shoes] My hands move like a squid [makes squid-like movements with hands]. You can almost see the squid.
Kevin: That's great. Hey, why don't we get back to that shoe shining motion [moves hand in a circle-show shining motion].
Bruce: Check this one out--what do you think this is?
Kevin: I don't know.
Bruce: Wheat, wheat in a field. And now, a claw. My hands can almost point. They point--hey you, stop, put down that gun, or I'll shoot. [starts clapping] Well done hands. Well done. They applaud themselves. I'm not stoned. I'm just noticing things. Noticing things about my hands, as if for the first time.
Kevin: Oh yeah.
Bruce: [looks down] My penis.
Kevin: What?!
Bruce: My penis.
Kevin: Uh-oh.
Bruce: My hands, my penis.
Kevin: I've got to go.
Bruce: Pay me.
Kevin: I'm not paying you, you freak.
Bruce: Pay my hands. [Kevin's leaving] My hands will miss you.
Kevin: [yells from off camera] *Freak*
Bruce: My hands are sad.