Mushroom Boy

Obtained from: Kids in the Hall FAQ
Transcribed by:
Mark: Hello! I was the mushroom boy. Ever since I was very young, I've been able to tell all the different types of mushrooms apart. It came to me naturally. Why, when I was 12 I went on a national tv talent show and identified 36 types of mushrooms blind-folded. All Belgium was enraptured with me. I won a case of truffles, and a pet pig, and I was sent out on a tour of all the biggest mushroom farms in Europe. Why, I even had a soup named after me, with my face staring right out at you from the label. Oh, though, too bad, I gambled all my money on a new health product. This: Muffin Juice. The unfiltered juice of freshly squozen muffins. [Pours, drinks] Mmmmm! It should have worked, but, it didn't. Anyway, till this day if you go to a mushroom farm in Belgium and say, "Hey, do you know who Leon Van Dyke is?" They'll say, "Yes, I do! He was the mushroom boy!" Well, good-bye!

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video