Francesca Fiore: Grammar

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: JZ3NIF@aol.com

Cast-

• Scott Thompson- Francesca Fiore
• Mark McKinney- Grammar Guy (Voice Over)
• Dave Foley- Bruno Puntz Jones

Scott: I am Francesca Fiore, international B-movie star. [snaps and fire starts going in fireplace] But tonight, I am just simple woman, who cook simple dinner for her lover, Bruno Puntz Jones, also B-movie star. But Bruno is no here. His is late. Two hour late, ah? Am worry. Aye, I am worry, ah? Francesca Fiore is worry about Bruno.

Mark: Correction. Francesca Fiore is worried about Bruno.

Scott: Si. I am worry about Bruno.

Mark: Francesca?

Scott: [angry] Aye?

Mark: Syntax.

Scott: Sin? Tax? No, tax, no! [crosses behind chair]

Mark: Francesca Fiore is worried about Bruno.

Scott: Si. I am worry about Bruno.

Mark: No!

Scott: Yes!

Mark: No, it's "worried." Francesca Fiore is worried about Bruno.

Scott: I am worry about Bruno.

Mark: Worried! With a D!

Scott: D? I am worriedee? I am worriedah? I am worriedah!

Mark: Yes.

Scott: Ah, worriedah. I see, I dee, I ee, I eff. [laughing] I make joke in English, ah?

Mark: Uh, yeah.

[Scott gives an angry look.]

Mark: Francesca Fiore is worried about Bruno. Repeat.

Scott: Francesca Fiore is worriedah about Bruno. Is good? Is Canadian?

Mark: Yes.

Scott: [sighs] English is so complicate, ah?

Mark: Complicated.

Scott: Aye!

Mark: Yes, it is.

[Dave enters]

Scott: Bruno.

Dave: Francesca.

[Scott slaps Dave.]

Scott: You are two hour late, ah?

Dave: I sorry.

Mark: Correction. I am sorry.

[Dave takes out his gun.]

Scott: No, Bruno, no!

[Dave shoots to the ceiling. A man falls and lands on the table.]

Scott: Oh, Bruno.

Dave: There. I killed your Canadian lover. And I no sorry.

Scott: Bruno! Why you always kill, kill, kill all the time, time, time?

Dave: I jealous.

Scott: No, Bruno you *are* jealous.

Dave: That's what I said. I say I jealous.

Scott: Let's eat. Everything is cold.

Dave: Is not. [indicating the dead man on the table]

Scott: Ah, Bruno. You make joke in English, ah?

Dave: No. I'm going to eat this man.

Scott: Oh, okay. Let's go.

[Scott sticks knife in him, with intent to eat.]