Dipping Areas

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (herogreenlantern@hotmail.com)

[Setting: A dimly lit restaurant]

Mark: And how's everything here?

Kevin: Well, actually we ordered some dessert. We were wondering when it would come because...[glances at the young man with her] my protege and I want to go.

Mark: I'll check in the kitchen.

[Cut to the kitchen. Mark walks up to Scott]

Mark: Could I have the dessert for Table 20, please?

Scott: Just finishing it.

Mark: Oh. Great. What did they order?

Scott: They are splitting an order of mousse sorbet!

Mark: And what's in that?

Scott: [laughing a bit] You must be new here.

Mark: Yes, I am.

Scott: Well, let me tell you. First of all I start with two islands of mousse; a white mousse and a chocolate mousse, contrasted with a scoop of casi sorbet(?),sprinkled with a herd of loose blueberries, a sprig of mint, a light dusting of chocolate. And finally to top it all off, these four dipping areas.

Mark: And what are the dipping areas for?

Scott: Well, that's are for dipping the mousse into. But of course that's completely up to the individual.

Dave: Oh, um.... Did I overhear you talking about the dipping areas?

Scott/Mark: Yes.

Dave: They're really great, but may I make one teeny, tiny suggestion?

Scott: Certainly. What is it?

Dave: Well, I think the dipping areas are so attractive that instead of just having the four areas for dipping the mousse into, you should have six. Because, and I find that this happens more often on Thursday nights than any other night of the week, people seem to be running out of dipping areas even before they run out of mousse.

Scott: [to Mark] Well, what do you think?

Mark: Oh, well.. I'm new here.. but I think I do like the idea of more dipping areas.

Bruce: More dipping areas? I sure hope not. That would cause a big problem.

Scott: What kind of a problem?

Bruce: Well, my main concern is there will be no place to put my thumbs when I'm gripping the plate

Mark: He's right. Those big old thumbs would either be messing up the chocolate dusting or sitting smack dab in the middle of those dipping areas.

[The four pause to consider the problem. We cut to Kevin and his protege waiting.]

Dave: I have a question; Do we really need the chocolate dusting?

[The others pause and look at each other uncomfortably]

Dave: I'm sorry... was that a stupid question?

Bruce: Kinda....

Dave: Well, I was just trying to find my way around this thumb print problem.

[The others nod.]

Dave: But it would be a crime to compromise on the chocolate dusting.

Mark: Yeah, it's a toughie.

Bruce: Listen, we're four intelligent men. We should be able to solve this problem.

Mark: I wish I could help more. It's just that I'm new here

Scott/Dave/Bruce: [You're doing great/doing fine/various assurances.]

Scott: How would you serve this plate, with the extra dipping areas, without a thumbprint?

Mark: [looking intently at the plate] Maybe you could avoid the dipping areas and the chocolate dusting entirely, if you carried the plate without gripping the edge.. like this... [Mark shows how to hold it]

Scott: It might work!

Bruce: That would work!

Scott: Yes!

Dave: Wait! But what if you had to serve two plates with the dusting and the dipping areas without gripping the plate?

[The four picture a dark room. Mark enters, holding two plates from underneath.]

Mark: Enjoy.

[Mark drops the plates on the table, splattering Kevin and the young man with mousse, sorbet and chocolate sauce.... the young man screams]

All: No, No..... it won't work...

Mark: It's a toughie.

Scott: Look, I'm in favour of the dipping areas but I just don't see how we can realize it right now... what about we meet tomorrow early before opening?

All: Agreed.

Mark: Well, I may be new here, but I do know I should get this dessert out there fast.

Bruce: Go to it.

[ The others laugh as Mark leaves. He puts the dessert down in front of Kevin]

Mark: And here we are.

Kevin: Oh, and what are these? [points at the dipping areas]

Mark: Those are dipping areas for dipping the mousse into.

Kevin: Don't you think they should be.... bigger?

Mark: We're working on it

[They all start laughing as the skit ends.]

Credit to Kids in the Hall/Broadway Video