Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Bruce- A cop
- Mark- Another cop
- Scott- A Suspect
[Setting: Police Interrogation Room]
[A caption reads 10:00 am: Precinct House]
Bruce: First of all, I'd like to thank you for coming in this evening. And second of all.... [suddenly kneels next to suspect] did you kill that guy?
[Bruce stands and moves next to Mark]
Mark: He's a tough cookie.
Bruce: You can say that again.
[Mark drinks some coffee as Bruce moves away.]
Scott: Can I go?
[The two cops crack their knuckles together.]
[A caption reads 6 p.m.: Precinct House]
Mark: So we'd like for you to be really comfortable so you can confess.
[The cops sit across from the suspect, with a tape recorder between them Mark turns it on as the two cops loosen their ties and remove their hats]
Mark: Would you like coffee or a high protein snack?
Bruce: How about some nice chicken wings?
Scott: How about a TV?
[The cops look at each other. Later we see the three watching some comedy show. They all laugh a bit and then mark uses a remote to turn the TV off.]
Mark: [still smiling] Okay. It's a commercial. [holds up recorder] Did you kill that guy?
Scott: Hey, can we get cable?
Bruce: Hey! What do you think this is? A country club?
[Mark turns the TV back on and they go back to laughing at whatever is on]
[A caption says 11:00 PM Precinct House]
[The cops now sit on either side of the suspec.t]
Mark: Hey partner?
Mark: You know, I killed a guy.
Bruce: Me too!
Mark: Oh. Yeah, it was fun.
Bruce: Yeah. Killing a guy?
Bruce: Heck, we all do it now and then.
Bruce: [putting an arm around Scott] How about you?
[The two cops sigh and lean forward on the table.]
Mark: I guess that peer pressure thing only works for smoking.
Bruce: Yeah. That's how I started.
[Mark reaches for a lighter and is about to light Scott's cigarette. Scott laughs as Mark puts it down and lights it himself.]