Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast-
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison
- Bruce- A cop.
- Mark- Another cop.
- Scott- A Suspect
- Dave- Captain
- Kevin- Voice-Over Guy
[Setting: Interview Room]
[The POLICE DEPARTMENT logo appears and 10:00 AM PRECINCT HOUSE runs across the screen. We then hear a disembodied voice (Kevin).]
Kevin (V.O.): Here are some scenes from last week's episode.
[We cut inside the room and see the two cops hovering around their suspect]
Mark: [leaning over table] Did you kill that guy?
Scott: [sitting calmly] Nope.
Bruce: [leaning over table] Did you kill that guy?
Scott: [still sitting calmly] Nope.
[We cut to a different shot, with one cop on each side of Scott. Bruce is facing away from Scott, but suddenly spins around]
Bruce: Hey.. did ya kill that guy?
Scott: [spinning around to face Bruce] No!
[Cut to a shot of Bruce riding Mark piggy-back (no pun intended what with the cops giving piggy-back..... uh, never mind)]
Bruce: Did you kill that guy?
[Cut back to the two cops standing on either side of Scott.]
Mark: [points up] Hey look!
[Scott looks up]
Mark: Did you kill that guy?
[Cut to Bruce and Mark facing away from Scott, standing in front of him.]
Bruce and Mark: [spin around to face Scott, singing the words] Did you kill that guy?
[Cut back outside the Interview Room, where we do a zoom on the door as Kevin speaks]
Kevin (V.O.): And now, this weeks exciting conclusion.
[Cut to inside the room. Bruce and Mark are sitting on table.]
Mark: Did you kill that guy?
Bruce: Damn, this guys tough.
[Bruce and Mark get off the table and move around to either side of Mark.]
[Bruce looks at Scott quizzingly.]
[9:00 PM PRECINCT HOUSE]
[Scott takes a long drag on a cigarette and exhales the smoke at Mark]
[Mark takes a long drag on a cigarette and appears to savor the taste]
[Bruce is also smoking a cigarette, but he turns his head to blow the smoke away from the others. As he does, he notices a third cop (Dave) sitting in a chair to his left.]
Bruce: What the hell are you doing here?
Dave: Only place I can smoke.
[The two cops nod and go back to their cigarettes.]
[1:00 AM PRECINCT HOUSE]
[We hear the sounds of someone being hit with something as we focus on a lamp]
[Cut to: The door. Dave, the same guy as before, enters the room]
Dave: You boys done with my phone book?
[Cut to: Bruce and Dave, holding the phone book over Scott's face. Scott appears to be tied to the chair. They each have a fist raised and Bruce was about to punch the book.]
Mark: [taking book away from Scott] Um... sure! Yeah! We.. found the number we were looking for.
Dave: Great. Great. Great. Oh, by the way... Did you hear they found the guy that killed that other guy?
[Bruce and Mark look at each other, stunned.]
Bruce: Yeah.... we heard.
Mark: Yeah. We knew.
Dave: [points at Scott] So what's this guy's story?
[We get a quick shot of Scott. A trickle of blood is coming from his mouth]
Bruce: Um... he's a friend from high school.
Mark: High school, yeah.
Bruce: We were just reminising about... the overhead projector.
[Mark nods at this as does Dave.]
Scott: You stupid pigs!
[Dave reaches for his gun, but Mark stops him.]
Mark: Umm..he was always the class clown.
[Mark and Bruce fake laugh as Dave joins in]
Scott: I'm going to sue you pigs for police brutality!
[The three cops laugh at this as Dave exits.]
[Scott begins to jump up and down, still tied to the chair, laughing madly]
[We close on the two cops looking freaked out]