Transcribed from: Comedy CentralCast:
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (firstname.lastname@example.org)
[Setting: An Office in AT& Love]
- Kevin- Al
- Bruce- Grahmm; Kathie
- Dave- Business woman
- Scott- Cathy, Danny Husk
- Mark- Stan
- Extras- Assorted co-workers
[We start out in the mailroom. We see a clock. It is 5 pm. The radio clicks on and plays a fanfare as the camera shifts and gets up]
Mark: Five o'clock. Time to go home.
[We see Kevin, pushing a mail cart.]
Mark: See you got the last mail run, eh Al?
Kevin: Yeah. [laughs a bit]
Mark: Well, I'll see ya Monday.
Kevin: Yeah, see ya Monday, Stan.
[We see the action from Stan's point of view. He follows Kevin for a bit.]
Mark: So what are you going to do this weekend?
Kevin: Oh, just spend time with the family.
Mark: Yeah. I'm going to a hockey game tonight, but I dunno about tomorrow or Sunday...
Kevin: Oh yeah?
Mark: Well, have a good weekend.
Kevin: You too.
[Mark moves along coming along a group of business men.]
Mark: Hey guys. Have a good weekend.
[Mark moves to a desk where Bruce is typing like mad.]
Mark: Hey! What are you doing, Grahmm? Gonna work late tonight?
Bruce: Yeah... I wanna get this stuff done.
Mark: [laughs] Well, don't kill yourself, huh?
Bruce: I won't, Stan.v [Mark turns around to leave but the turns back quickly.]
Mark: Hey, what's that?
Bruce: I'm sorry....What's what?
Mark: That! [makes an unseen gesture]
Bruce: [looks at shirt pocket] It's a pen.
Mark: Oh yeah.. it looks weird. Well, have a good weekend.
Bruce: You too.
[Mark continues down the hall. A man passes him.]
Mark: Have a good weekend, Lou.
[Mark turns and enters a meeting room, ignoring the sign that says "Meeting in Progress: Do Not Disturb." Dave is in this room, standing up. giving a presentation.]
Dave: And my disappointment in you is compounded, Sharon, by the fact... [turns as she hears the door open] Yes, Stan?
Mark: I just wanted to know if you needed anything.
Dave: No thank you, Stan.
Mark: Well, have a good weekend!
Dave: [impatient] Yes Stan. Could you shut the door, Stan?
Mark: Sure sure. Bye bye.
[Mark closes the door, turns around and runs into somebody, knocking him down.]
Mark: Ah god! Made your car crash. Sorry, Tom.. you okay?
Man: [looks irritated] I'm fine.
Mark: Yeah. Well, have a good weekend.
[Mark moves down the hall and passes a woman in a yellow suit.]
Mark: Have a good weekend there.
[Mark rounds a cubicle corner and approaches an office door. The office occupant is standing in his doorway and closes it as he sees Mark approach. Mark shrugs and does a 90 degree turn left, going behind the cubicle wall. We see Kathie (Bruce) crying and Cathy (Scott) kneeling besides her trying to be comforting.]
Bruce: Death.. it's horrible.
Scott: Oh, Kathie!
Bruce: Yeah. And just heard yesterday that he had a stroke.
Scott: A stroke?!
Bruce: He didn't even feel it!
[They both turn suddenly noticing Stan.]
Scott: Yes, Stan?
Mark: Who had the stroke?
Bruce: My father...
Mark: Oh. [slight pause] Well, have a good weekend!
[Mark walks past the, left turns again back into the hallway. We see a man walk into a different hallway.]
Mark: [calling after] Hey Hadji! Have a good... oh.
[Mark turns and goes into the restroom. We see Danny Husk (Scott) using a urinal.]
Mark: Thought I heard someone in here.
Scott: Oh. Hi, Stan.
Mark: Hey. You going to the hockey game tonight, Mr. Husk?
Scott: Uh... no.
Mark: Well, that's what I'm doing.
Scott: [searches for something to say] Super!
Mark: Yeah, well have a good weekend.
[Mark turns around and exits the bathroom. He wanders the hall, coming into a lobby. He walks up to the secretary who has just taken a package from a Bike Courier. He drums his fingers on a box on the desk until she looks at him.]
Woman: Yes, Stan?
Mark: Hey, I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to notice me, gorgeous.
Woman: You're kinda hard not to notice, Stan.
Mark: [laughs] So, you making plans for the big weekend?
Woman: I guess.
Mark: Well me, I'm going to the hockey game tonight but um.. Saturday's free.
Woman: Oh yeah?
Mark: You still dating that policeman?
Woman: [relieved she finally has a way to get rid of him] Yes!
Mark: [dissapointed] Oh? Well, have a good weekend.
[Mark walks on, towards the elevators. The Bike Courier is there, waiting. The Bell for the elevator rings just as Mark gets there.]
Mark: Hey, thanks for getting the elevator for me.
[We see the doors part and open upon the scene of a nice green backyard, in the middle of a beautiful sunny day. We see a lawn chair which Mark sits in, bowl of chips on a table to the right of the chair. We hear a dog bark in the background and see a sprinkler running.]
Mark: This is the life.
[The POV shot goes up to the sky and past the sun as we fade to white. We fade back in on a picture of the clock in the mail room. It is 8 o'clock.]
Mark: 8 o'clock. Gotta go. Let's get at her.
[Mark turns and places a prescritpion bag on his desk. He turns as Kevin enters, singing.]
Mark: Hey Al. How was your weekend?
Kevin: [turns to Mark] Geez Stan.. what happened to you?
[We see Mark for the first time. Except for his mouth, ears and eyes his face is covered in bandages. His glasses poke through the bandages as does a mop of dirty blond hair. He's wearing a long sleeved rugby shirt, Dockers and suspenders and generally looks like the kind of dorky loser who got beaten up alot in high school.]
Mark: I fell asleep sunbathing yesterday. Out in the hot sun, you know? I got all burned up. Good thing I wasn't sunbathing nude, eh? Imagine what might have happened then, huh? [laughs] So how was your weekend?
Kevin: Good. Good.
Mark: Oh yeah? What did you do?
Kevin: Uh... had a barbacue, actually.
Mark: Anyway, I had to go to the hospital, you know? Emergency room. They said I got second degree burns on my belly and my face here, ya know? Anyway, I gotta use this cream here, ya know? The gave me these creams to use?. Face cream.. this is for my face.... and I've gotta a... belly cream, I guess... some sort of belly cream... I've gotta go back to the hospital, man....