A Whole Lotta Kids in the Hall

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All: Yo Canada! (July 1, 1995)

[Separately, on set of Brain Candy. Cut between the five Kids.]

[The Question on screen: "Why are Canadians so funny? Kids in the Hall. Theory #262"]

Dave: Why Canadians are so . . . so funny?

Scott: I'm just so bored of this whole topic.

Bruce: I've ob . . . I've obviously been asked that question a lot . . . by border guards and . . . and the like.

Mark: Canadians are funny because they are a small, small people.

Kevin: We have a funny inferiority complex. I can't pronounce the word, but that's what we have.

Scott: I just think Canada is a nerd . . .

Bruce: I find them a dull people.

Scott: . . . Thick glasses, walking into walls. God, I'm like stroking an incredibly expensive painting. Oh, my God.

Bruce: I'm not sure Canadians are funny.

Scott: There's like two million dollars worth of paintings on the set here. And I'm just like sc--scratching off the oil.

Bruce: I think they're good hockey players.

Scott: Too much oil here. [rubbing the painting] I don't like the way he bunched it up there.

Mark: Canadians are more likely to attend a show under adverse conditions.

Kevin: You've wanted to kill me for years--kill me now!!

Scott: [pouts.]

Bruce: I've heard, and I haven't actually seen any, but the--the people in America are evil?

Kevin: Yo. Canada.

Dave: [mumbling, might not be right:] I don't--the black population of Canada can't say, "Yo, Canada." The whites are really in desperate straights when you try to say, "Yo, Canada."

Off camera voice: [to Mark] Do you find a--a--a big difference performing in front of a Canadian audience as opposed to performing in front of an American audience?

Mark: Uh . . . no. [shift eyes, checking with interviewer] Yes. [shifts eyes] No. [looks down and confidently:] Yes.

Dave: Why Canadians are so funny. Well. Oh, jeez. Just never mind. [rips off mic and leaves.]

[On screen: "Who #@%* cares?"]



 Trista Lycosky

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