Scott: TBS's "Dinner & a Movie" (June 19, 1998)

[Annabelle & Paul are the hosts/cooks. Scott is Buddy. The movie was "Tootsie."]

Anabelle and Paul: Come on in!

[Scott enters]

Buddy: Yoo-hoo..

Paul: Oh hey, Buddy Cole!

Anabelle: Buddy Cole, noted raconteur and philosopher!

Buddy: Anabelle, stah-hop.

Paul: What gives?

Buddy: *Well* I was just making myself a martini, and I *realized* that there were no pimentos. And as you know, nature abhorrs a vacuum.

Anabelle: Well let us fill your vacuum! We have pimentos... here! We always have everything.

Buddy: Oh, *thank* you! ..All set out for me, isn't that lovely. Oh I see you're reading my autobiography.

[Anabelle holds up _Buddy Babylon_]

Paul: Just happened to have that out also.

Anabelle: Oh yes... _Buddy Babylon_, the biography of Buddy Cole. I was reading it before the movie started.

Buddy: Oh well thank you very much. Oh.

Anabelle: Now, Buddy, you must love the movie, it's about *drag*, and it's--

Paul: Oooh, Anabelle. that's, a kind of a gay stereotype there.

Buddy: Thanks, Paul, I can defend myself.. That's another gay stereotype. Um.. Oh no no no offense taken, Anabelle. I don't actually like drag. no.

Paul: Why is that?

Buddy: Well i just feel that um... I like a man to be a man. Plus: it takes too much work, and I'm a sweater.

Paul: Nobody likes a pretty sweaty lady.

Buddy: That's true.

Anabelle: Well who do you like in this movie?

Buddy: Well for me, the whole movie's about Christine Ebersole.

Anabelle: Oh. Now, she's only in one scene in the movie..

Buddy: Oh, but what a *scene*! See, as far as I'm concerned, as soon as she leaves the movie, I'm not interested. I've actually never even seen the whole movie in its entirety.

Anabelle: Well you have to stay with us! And eat a piece of our skirtsteak.. "What's Under Your Skirtsteak"...

Buddy: Well it *does* smell good, but I've got to go back because my party guests are in the middle of a game of "red light, green light" and I just called red light, so I really should...

Paul: Well are they watching?

Buddy: Oh yes we're all watching..

Paul: Oh just say green light to the camera.

[all looking at camera]

Buddy, Anabelle, and Paul: Green light!

Buddy: Red light. Green light.

Anabelle: Oh you.

Buddy: ...Magenta light. This is hilarious.

Anabelle: What do you do with magenta light...

Buddy: I think that's just um...

Paul: It's a gay thing.

Buddy: It's a gay thing. Exactly yeah.

Paul: Is that a stereotype?

Buddy: No absolutely not.

Paul: That's true.

Buddy: That *is* true.

Anabelle: ...Lavender light.

Paul: Now see, that's a stereotype.

Buddy: There you go again, Anabelle..

Anabelle: Oh, I'm *sorry*! I'm sorry..

Buddy: She goes too far, doesn't she.

[cut to bumper]

Buddy (voice): Oh you look so much like Alan Thicke.

Paul: This is our "What's Under Your Skirtsteak".

Buddy: Ooh, that looks nice, thank you very much, Paul.

Anabelle: You know, Terri Garr was actually on the Sonny & Cher comedy hour, did you know that?

Buddy: Mm hmm, yes, I did..

Paul: Former dancer from San Fransisco. She's so effortless, when she's acting you really forget that she's acting.

Anabelle: You know, Bill Murray's like that too though. He's so underplayed. Actually I think that a lot of his scenes were improvised, that's what I heard, in this movie.

Buddy: I heard the same thing.

Anabelle: Now what are you doing there?

Buddy: I'm stuffing the olives.

Anabelle & Paul: Mmm.

Buddy: See i'm putting the pimentos inside of there. Giving them little hats.

Anabelle: Now um, do you want to talk anything about your book, 'cause I just started it, Buddy. What's your favourite--

Buddy: Oh, of course. [holds up _Buddy Babylon_] Have I shown this enough?

Anabelle: I think you have. What's your favourite ..lesson from the book that you're telling us about. If there's *one* thing you could tell us about life.

Buddy: Everything must have a name. Yeah. That's the philosophy of the book, that if you don't give things a name... all hell breaks loose.

Anabelle: Now, like say the outfit you have on, does that have a name?

Buddy: Absolutely- Stan.

Paul: Stan. 't's interesting.

Anabelle: Buddy in Stan.

Buddy: That uncomfortable silence? Is called Oliver.

Anabelle: Oh! wow..

Buddy: Yes.

Paul: Oliver's a guest *quite frequently* on our show.

Buddy: Is he really?

Anabelle: Did you read Michael Caine's book, because Paul has been reading it and really taking in some tips about it.

Paul: I'm telling you, Buddy...

Buddy: You mean the bible? The acting bible? Absolutely. Well that book was *so* helpful for me in my very first acting role.

Anabelle: Millenium!

Buddy: Millenium.

Anabelle: You were the, the ..time, gate..operator.

Buddy: Yes...

Anabelle: You said, um,

Buddy: Time quake. Time quake.

Anabelle: How memorable!

Buddy: And he helped me so much because what he taught me was that when you're playing a masculine role, an authoritarian kind of a role, you don't blink. You see?

[looks at camera and demonstrates]

Paul: I got chill bumps.

Anabelle: I'm scared.

Buddy: Now if I'm playing it *feminine*, I would blink a lot.

[looks at camera and demonstrates]

Paul: Totally different.

Anabelle: Can I just say this is really fabulous, by the way? And here I go. [blinking] watch more of the movie.

[cut to bumper]

Paul: No it looks like you've got something in your eye...

Anabelle: I do, actually..

Contributor

•  Sarah Newhouse