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Mark: Chicken Lady SNL Sketch

Cast-

  • Mark- Chicken Lady
  • Cheri Oteri- Mickey the Dyke
  • Will Ferrell- Ernie the infantilist
  • Man- Bob
  • Man- Farmer Troy
["I touch myself" is playing with pictures of hot men shown. The Chicken Lady Show logo appears]

Mark: WHOA! Look at the red light! It's so bright, eh?!

Cheri: That's because the camera's on.

Mark: It's so pretttttty!

Cheri: Go back to your seat, chicken lady. Welcome to the show, I'm Mickey the Dyke!

Mark: And I'm the Chicken Lady!

Cheri: Over here in the corner as always is Bob.

[camera cuts to man chained to a wall dressed in black without his face showing who waves]

Cheri: Hi Bob!

Mark: And joining us today is Ernie the infantilist!

[cut to Will Ferrel in a crib wearing a baby bonnet and a diaper]

Will: I just got a new nappie, and I'm freshly powdered!

Mark: Ernie likes to wear diapers! You know why? Cause it makes him hoooooorny!

Will: Yes, yes it does! I'm sitting here safely secured in my crib, I've got a clean nappie, I'm freshly powdered, and I think that's what it's all about!

Cheri: Yeah, that what it's all about!

[Bob rings a small bell]

Cheri: Almost forgot! It's time for the dancer of the week!

Mark: Yeah, YEAH!

Cheri: Tonight's dancer comes from Harry's exotic dancers on 44th street! The theme is Sunday Brunch, visit Harry soon! And now, farmer Troy!

[Large, fat man in cowboy hat, sunglasses and flannel vest comes out]

Man: I can roll with the flames, I can walk with the fire, but sweet baby girl can you feel my desire?

Mark: Oooooooohhhhh! [starts shaking wildly]

Man: See anything you'd like to fight for?

Mark: I'd like the whole kit and kaboodle!

Man: I'll get you something good!

Mark: Awwwwwww, you're gettin' me there now!

Man: Maybe you better try on THESE! [tosses pair of giant heart boxers on Mark's face. Mark blows up in a flurry of feathers!]

Mark: [still shaking through the whole skit] Oooooooh! Oooooh! Oh! Oooh! God, he was talented, eh?

Cheri: Yeah, he was talented.

Will: Yeah!

Cheri: Well, that's it for tonight's show!

Mark: Bye!

["I touch myself" starts playing again and the Chicken Lady Show logo appears again. Cheri and Mark wave and dance]

 

Contributor

 Stefanie Gray

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