Bruce: Late Night With Conan O'Brien (Late May, 1995)

Conan: Hello everybody; we're back. Ladies and gentleman, our next guest tonight is a member of the Canadian comedy troupe "The Kids in the Hall". He's just released a, uh yeah, a CD right here entitled "Shame-Based Man". Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Bruce McCulloch!

[Music plays, Bruce walks out.]

Conan: Thank you for being here with us.

Bruce: You're not Merv Griffin!

Conan: No, I'm not! But I'm close enough! It's very nice to have you here. I wanted, just up front, to get something straight, cuz I'm not quite clear on it, the Kids in the Hall, they're not making any new ones, is that right?

Bruce: Yeah, the production has ceased.

Conan: The production has stopped on that show...

Bruce: But I still get stopped on the street now and then. It's been a few months, and people say, "Oh, you look tired, Bruce" and I say "No I don't, I just look like this now."

Conan: [laughs] Oh! That's so sad! Well, no, but I mean...

Bruce: Sad but beautiful.

Conan: I know that now that it's stopped, I know that you guys are working on a movie project, but also, a lot of your friends, Kids in the Hall, have moved on to LA, among other things. Are you thinking about doing that?

Bruce: Well, that's the hard question, I mean, I love Toronto, but it's, you know, I don't know if I can live there. I love a parade, but you can't live in a parade. Well, you can, but only for like three hours at a time, [Conan laughs] you gotta keep moving your stuff up. [Conan laughs] People staring at you, have animals crap on your shoes. No, I think I'll stay in Toronto.

Conan: Okay, stay there! So, uh, but, what are you gonna do then, what are your plans?

Bruce: Well, it's a weird time for us, and uh, I think I'm getting some pretty sound career advice from my father.

Conan: Oh really? Is your dad in show busuiness?

Bruce: No, uh, he's a furniture salesman. But he says stuff like, "Being a furniture salesman, I think I know a little bit about the entertainment industry." You know, haggling with Paramount is the same as a young couple trying to figure out a love seat.

Conan: [laughs] Wow, yeah. Well, it's good that you're getting advice at all. What *are* you doing now? What is your, you know...

Bruce: Well, actually, I know how this works, I watch the show every night, and I knew you weren't Merv Griffin!

Conan: God love you.

Bruce: I actually brought a clip.

Conan: You brought a clip? Well, that's terrific! Anything we need to do to set this up?

Bruce: No, just roll that sucker!

[Audience laughs. Clip of Bruce and his dad in the furniture store.]

Bruce: So, here I am, I'm, uh, working in the furniture store with my dad. [Conan laughs]

Bruce: (in clip) Pretty slow, eh, Dad?

Dad: Yeah, we have more people than this. We'll see more people in here.

Bruce: That's for sure.

Dad: Should pick up.

Bruce: How come you never tell me you love me, Dad?

Dad: I do, son, when you're sleeping.

[Clip ends, audience cheers.]

Conan: Oh, uh, that's a clip!

Bruce: Yeah. I knew you put on a show every night.

Conan: You had to bring a clip.

Bruce: Yeah. Actually, there's some better stuff, there's, uh, there's a part where a guy comes in later. Maybe if everybody applauded, we could show that clip. [Bruce claps.]

Conan: Show the clip.

[Audience cheers. Clip of Bruce and Andy in store.]

Andy: Hi.

Bruce: Hi there!

Andy: Do you have any beanbag chairs?

Bruce: Um, yeah, I think we have one. What color's your apartment?

Andy: Well, it's for my van, actually.

Bruce: Your van?

Andy: Yeah.

Bruce: [uncomfortably] Sure.

[Clip ends. Audience cheers.]

Conan: I didn't even know you had a van! That's great! This is, uh, these are great, you brought a lot of clips.

Bruce: Yes. Actually, I just did a big network show.

Conan: Really?

Bruce: Is is possible maybe to roll a clip?

Conan: Go ahead, yeah.

[Clip of Bruce walking on stage earlier in the show]

Bruce: There I am, [Conan laughs] I'm walking out about a minute ago, yeah, up the stairs.

Conan: There you go, very nice! Very nice! I didn't realize you did that show.

Bruce: Yeah.

Conan: That's Merv Griffin.

[Audience cheers. Clip ends.]

Conan: Man, are you...

Bruce: I actually like the part where I show the clip, but you know.

Conan: [laughs] Well, we can't get into that. It's sort of a world within worlds.

Bruce: I just did a, uh, Dorf video.

Conan: You did a Dorf video?!?

Bruce: Yeah.

Conan: Dorf is the, uh, Tim Conway guy who gets on his knees and they put little shoes in there, and make him a midget?

Bruce: Yeah. He's very funny, and sort of heartwarming in a way. [Conan laughs] It's a sex video though. [Audience and Conan laugh]. It's called "Looking Up and Liking It". [Conan laughs.] The Conway estate, no! Joke, joke.

Conan: You've got a suit on your hands!

Bruce: I don't want to name-drop, I'm doing something else, CD, blah blah, but uh, I'm doing a film with Pauly Shore.

Conan: Really? [laughs]

Bruce: No, uh, it's gonna be fantastic. We don't have a name for it yet, or a script or anything, but it's gonna be about a couple of older guys trying to look a little bit younger, and they carry a guy around and drop him and something about a sack of money and maybe one guy cheats on his wife and gives her a little hotel soap.

Conan: Gee, I don't know if it sounds commercial enough. Now, uh, I've got to ask you about this, you know, your fans like to know this stuff, your real hard-core fans love to know: what about your love life? How is that going? You know, are you married, single?

Bruce: I actually have a, uh, new girlfriend.

Conan: Really? That's great.

Bruce: I have a clip. [Audience laughs] You want to see it?

Conan: Yeah. Let's take a look.

[Clip of Bruce's girlfriend standing in store, smiling at camera. Conan laughs.]

Conan: Very..[laughs]..very nice!

Bruce: Again, I don't know who's picking the clips, but there's some better stuff. Some stuff where we take off our clothes and lick each other's bellies.

Conan: Really?

Bruce: It's not a sexual thing, we just do it for the salt. [Conan laughs] For the salt...

Conan: Tell us about Shame-Based Man, your new CD.

Bruce: Um, well it's, uh, it's my new CD. It's some autobiographical stuff, stuff about a relationship I had, which crashed, which is summed up in the line, "Our love is like a Bruce Springsteen Concert: it's not that great, it's really long, but wow, what energy!"

Conan: [Audience laughs] Max?

Max: That about sums it up.

[cut to Max who is waving his drums sticks.]

Conan: Max, step over here!

Bruce: Yeah, well, he was Merv Griffin, I don't know!

Conan: If I'm Merv Griffin, you're not in trouble! All right, what about your musical influences, you have a CD out, what are they, what are your musical influences?

Bruce: I like rock. Um...

Conan: Man, you know how to go out on a limb!

Bruce: I like current music...woo! You know, actually, growing up, I was a punk.

Conan: Really, you were a punk?

Bruce: A very conservative punk, you wouldn't know it to look at me, but if you asked me, I'd tell you, unless I swore at you, being a punk and all. You know, but in Calgary, in the late seventies, it's very easy to be a punk. All you have to do is sleep in one day, and you're labeled.

Conan: Really? You'd sleep in in Calgary, and that's it?!?

Bruce: Yeah. You wear a pink T-shirt in a bar, and a guy'll just thump you. A guy with his name tatooed on his arm for quick reference will come and, uh, grab you, you find yourself encircled by men screaming "Fight! Fight! Squish his eye!" You'd see oblong for weeks. In Calgary, it was easy to be a punk.

Conan: In Calgary, it's "Squish his eye"? Is that what people shout out during a fight? Oh...

Bruce: Yeah. It's not right, Conan. It's ugly business.

Conan: It isn't right at all. Well, the CD is Shame-Based Man.

Bruce: You listen to it yet, Conan?

Conan: Oh, that's all I've done. [Bruce laughs] That's all I've done with my spare time. Ah, listen, best of luck with it, and we hope you come back, first time having you on, it was very nice, thank you so much.

Bruce: Thanks.

Conan: Bruce McCulloch, ladies and gentleman! Shame-Based Man is the CD! We'll be right back, see ya in a second.

[Music plays, audience applauds.]

Contributor

•  Heather Baldwin